Green Bay locked up the NFC’s #1 spot. The Ravens and Steelers won to extend the AFCN race to the final week. The Broncos lost and Raiders won in OT to take the AFCW down to the end. The NFCE will be decided in the 2011 season’s last game when the Cowboy and Giants square off in New Jersey.

The last remaining playoff slot is the last AFC wild card slot, with the Bengals in the driver’s seat followed, in order, by the Raiders, Titans and Jets.

Aside from those slots, seeding is all that remains. The Pats lead the pack for the #1 AFC slot. They’ll finish as #1 with a win or #2 at worst. The AFCN winner will be either the #1 seed if they win and the Pats slip, otherwise #2, regardless of whether it is Baltimore or Pittsburgh.

Houston owns the #3 seed, but needs to break out of their slide against Tennessee or enter the playoffs on a three game skid. The rules state the AFCW must supply a winner, and said team will take #4, with the AFCN runner up fifth.

On the NFC side, we mentioned the Pack at #1. The second seed is still up for grabs between the Niners and Saints. The rules also require the NFCE to supply an entrant, who will be the #4 seed. Detroit and Atlanta own the wild card slots.

The Colts and Rams are slugging it out for the #1 spot in April’s NFL draft. The Colts can lock that up with either a loss in Jacksonsville or a Rams win at home against San Francisco.

Other games in Week 17 with some sort of implications. The early games include:
Jets at Miami (Jets need a win and everybody else in the picture to lose to capture the remaining AFC wild card),
Buffalo at New England (Pats sew up the AFC #1 seed with a win or losses by Baltimore and Pittsburgh)
Titans at Texans (Tennessee needs a win and a Bengal loss, followed by a handful of scenarios involving the Jets, Broncos and Raiders to take home the last AFC playoff spot)
Panthers at Saints (Saints need a win and Niner loss to take the NFC#2 seed)
Niners at Rams (Niner win or Saint loss gives San Fran the #2 NFC seed)
Lions at Packers (Lion win or Falcon loss gives Detroit the NFC #5 seed)

For the late games:
Ravens at Bengals (Ravens need a win or Steeler loss to win the AFCN, and a win coupled with a Pats loss gives them the AFC #1 seed, Bengals need a win to secure the last AFC wild card, or a Jet and either Raider or Bronco loss)
Steelers at Cleveland (Steelers win the AFCN with a win and a Raven loss and take the AFC #1 slot if NE also loses)
Chiefs and Broncos (Denver wins the AFCW with a win or Raider loss, but can not qualify for the AFC wild card)
Chargers at Raiders (A Raider win gives them the AFCW title if Denver loses or secures the last wild card slot if the Bengals lose and either Tennessee loses or the Jets win)
Bucs at Falcons (if Detroit loses earlier, a Falcon win moves them into the #5 seed)

Sunday night:
Cowboys at Giants, with the winner taking the NFCE and the loser going home.

But before you wrap your head around all that, take a last look at Week Sixteen, courtesy of SMGC and Stooge.

Good
Buffalo Bills – After a 5-2 start the Bills were staring at the real possibility of rolling an 0 for the rest of the season. They put an abrupt end to that possibility Saturday. The defense kicked in two pick sixes, special teams threw in a punt return TD and the offense took care of the other 19 points to put the whammy on the visiting Broncos. Despite the final score, this was a losable game with about 20 minutes left. From that point on the defense intercepted four passes and ruined Tebow Time. C.J. Spiller contributed 111 yards on only 16 carries, including a TD and a 38 yard romp. The Bills did not turn the ball over. This will go down as another season with a promising start that thoroughly faded to black, but Saturday’s convincing win provided Bills fans with an Christmas Good to celebrate.

Carolina Panthers – If you returned to Earth from your trek to Mars at 12:59 on Saturday and didn’t have time to grab a look at the NFL standings, you would have thought the Panthers were tuning up for a Super Bowl run in this game. The Panthers rushed for 270 yards on 31 carries to augment Newton’s trio of TD passes, including a Carolina record 91 yarder. Along the way, Newton broke Manning’s rookie passing record. The Panthers scored on 8 of 11 possessions, with number 11 being the possession that ran out the clock to end the game. On defense, Carolina picked off a pass and recovered three Buc fumbles while holding the visitors to 59 yards on the ground. It was a complete performance that culminated in 21 unanswered third quarter points and no blown fourth quarter lead. Given not only the results, but the “how” Panther fans are left wondering where this has been all year.

Detroit Lions – Faced with an opportunity to advance to the playoffs for the first time this century, the Lions folded, stapled and mutilated the Chargers, giving Detroit fans an early present. This game was pretty much in the books by halftime, with the Lions roaring out to a 24-0 lead. They answered a Chargers whimper of protest in the third quarter, scoring the game’s final 14 points to salt things away. Matthew Stafford was 29 of 36 for 373 yards and a trio of TD passes. He simply dissected the Charger secondary. That helped Detroit a nearly 70-percent third down efficiency, and they went 4 for 4 in the red zone. Meanwhile, the Lions defense picked off a pair of Philip Rivers fourth quarter passes, the latter providing the exclamation point with DE Cliff Avril returning it for a 4 yard TD to round out the scoring. The Lions defense cemented things earlier with a goal-line stand, stopping four plays from the 2 yard line. Ho-ho-ho

New Orleans Saints – The playoff implications entering Monday night’s Saints-Falcons game amounted to nothing more than seeding. While the issue is not yet settled, the Saints locked up the division after an impressive pounding of Atlanta in front of the home crowd. By the numbers, the game looks pretty even. But, the Saints defense held the Falcons to only 35 yards rushing (on only 14 attempts). That stat alone is an indicator that the Falcons bormal patient tempo was disrupted. Meanwhile, Nawlins rushed for a surprising 164 yards themselves at over 7 yards a clip. Add four Drew Brees TD passes and the picture becomes clear. It was a strong performance against a divisional rival who will also be participating in the postseason, punctuated by Brees breaking Marino’s single-season passing yardage record. The Saints still have unfinished business in terms of their playoff seed, but this performance put an exclamation point on the division.

Bad
Atlanta Falcons – The Falcons win football games with stingy defense that forces opposing offenses to earn every point and patient offense that grinds on the opponent until they crack. None of that happened on Monday night. The Falcons looked like a team content to present their wild card ticket once the playoffs start, getting rolled by the Saints. Atlanta failed to run the football (35 yards), gave up a ton of yardage (463), and did not force enough turnovers (2 Ints) to counteract the fact that the Saints scored on six of their ten offensive possessions. In short, the defense was little more than an inconvenience in this game. Give Atlanta credit, they kept plugging and amassed 469 yards of their own, but overall they did too little in the right places to even stay close.

Minnesota Vikings – Sure, the Vikings won. It was a road win against a team they should have felt they had a chance to beat. But, by winning they insured they will not challenge for the #1 draft slot (maybe not #2, either). That is not enough to turn a decent win to a Bad, though. Any Vikings fan with any sense at all would have traded a meaningless win in DC to keep AP healthy. No matter how you cut it, having him leave the game with a torn up knee is Bad.

New York Jets – Eli Manning was 9 for 27 with an interception. They held the Giants to 115 yards rushing. The Jets racked up 331 yards of offense. Yet they still found a way to not be close in this game by the time it was over. When you give up a 99 yard TD pass, fumble the ball away when you are perched less than 2 yards away from pay dirt, get picked twice yourself, have Mark Sanchez drop back to throw 67 times, give up a sack in the end zone for a safety and then make the curious call after the safety to onsides kick the free kick deep in your own zone (which failed, immediately placing the Giants in the red zone with an opportunity to put the game away), you deserve to be here. It didn’t help that the Jets defense gave up 225 yards passing on those meager nine completions. Maybe Rexie needs to spend less time spouting off during the week and more time getting his team ready. On the bright side, the Jets may have achieved their goal of not playing playoff games on the road.

Ugly
Denver Lions – The Broncos looked like the team many thought they would be on Saturday against the Bills. For the second consecutive week, Denver’s defense was unable to keep the game close, giving up 160 yards on the ground. Tim Tebow tossed up three TD passes, unfortunately two of those were scored by Bill defenders to put a lock on things. Denver carried a 7-0 lead into the second quarter, then imploded 40-7 the rest of the way to a Buffalo team mired in a 7 game losing streak, most not even close. Special teams commenced the descent into oblivion by surrendering an 80-yard punt return TD. The kickoff return team then took an illegal block penalty on the ensuing kickoff to negate a touchdown. Despite that, most of the damage was sustained in the game’s final 20 minutes, when the scoreboard rolled from 20-14 to 40-14. During the late onslaught, Tebow was 7 of 20 attempts with 4 interceptions and the two pick sixes noted. Not many imagined Denver would be playing a meaningful game in Week 16 and the Broncs showed why with this effort.

San Diego Chargers – To watch the Chargers start against the Lions, one would have not guessed they were actually in contention to win their division. Not any more. The manhandling started in the tunnel before the game and continued on the game’s first offensive play, a 46-yard completion by the Lions to set up their first score. The Charger secondary redefined the word coverage, surrendering 373 yards through the air and three TD’s. This game was lost by halftime. The Chargers edged back within 14 in the third quarter, only to be shut down the rest of the way. The defensive performance had to remind veteran Charger fans of the Air Coryell years without the Air Coryell offense. An Ugly showing on the road ended any chances the Chargers would wiggle into the postseason.

Honors
Drew Brees – Brees set the single-season passing yardage record Monday night against Atlanta. Otherwise it was another “pedestrian” night with a mere 4 TD’s, helping the Saints lock up the NFCS

Victor Cruz – Before the Battle of the Swamp, there was some jawing back and forth between the Giants’ WRs and the Jets’ DBs. Antonio Cromartie tried to insult Mario Manningham by saying “[Manningham] let a guy named Victor Cruz come in and take his job.” Well Antonio learned all about why Cruz took Manningham’s job. On Cruz’s 99 yard TD reception Cromartie “attempted” to “tackle” Cruz but got air instead as the Giant WR ran for an easy TD. Cruz may be a Pro Bowl snub, but heading I am sure he would much rather clinch a postseason birth against the Cowboys this upcoming week.

Cam Newton – Newton broke Manning’s rookie passing yardage record in this game to put a punctuation point on a fine first year. His day included a 91-yard TD pass, two other TD tosses, and a 49 yard TD run. All of this leading the Panthers to their sixth victory of the season and probably their best showing.

Dan Orlovsky – Never in Dan Orlovsky’s craziest dream has he he ever thought he would be lucky enough to get an honor in H2H’s GBU, but he earned it with his last minute drive against the Texans to give the Colts their 2nd win of the year. Orlovsky did not play a perfect game on Thursday night, but came through when the Colts needed him most. Although there is no shot Orlovsky will be starting next year, that one drive should have at least assured him of a back up role on some NFL team.

Aaron Rodgers – He just threw for 5 TD’s as the Packers clinched the #1 overall seed in the NFC. *Yawn* Just another highlight performance on the way to the MVP trophy.

Dishonors
Early Doucet – One play is all it takes to land yourself on the dishonor list. That one play for Doucet came with just under 2 minutes remaining at the end of the Bengals/Cardinals game. With his team trailing by a touchdown, Doucet was wide open, but tripped at the goal line and was an unable to catch a sure touchdown pass on 4th down. There is still no word whether the Buffalo Wild Wings restaurant in Cincinnati was involved in the incident.

Brian Schottenheimer – Every year there is talk about the younger Schottenheimer receiving a head coaching position and games like this one really make you wonder why. Mark Sanchez’s biggest supporters will admit that admit that at best he is an average quarterback right now so Jet fans are left scratching their heads when they see that Sanchez dropped back to pass 67 times. Those 67 times are the most in the NFL since Brian Griese dropped back 67 times in 2008 in an overtime game. Meanwhile, the Jets’ offensive line has struggled protecting Sanchez all year and the Jets had 2 players averaging over 4 YPC against the Giants. Schottenheimer’s play calling may be the reason the Jets do not make the playoffs and instead of looking for head coaching job, Schotty should start applying for positions at Aunt Esther State.

Tim Tebow – It was inevitable. While Tim Tebow has been far from pretty so far, he has not had a truly ugly performance until this past Sunday against the Bills. Tebow completed just 43% of his passes and threw more touchdown passes to Bills’ defensive backs in a 30 second span than to his own receivers. Tebow’s four interceptions is the highest in a single game in both the college and pros where he has never thrown more than 2. He did not fare much better on the ground as he ran for just 34 yards and fumbled twice, losing one. With no fourth quarter magic and little support from his defense Tim Tebow was due for his shot at the ugly.

Awards
Ciron Black (Best of the Good) – New Orleans wiped out their biggest divisional challenger by a wide margin on Monday.

Aunt Esther (Ugliest of the Ugly) – Denver blew up big time in Buffalo, a team on a 7-game losing streak. It was not pretty.

Lone Ranger (Who Was That Masked Man?) – Drew Brees and Cam Newton. Both set records for passing in Week 16 while leading their teams to impressive wins against divisional opponents.

Amber Alert (Greatest Disappearance) – Tim Tebow. He wasn’t bad all game, which helps earn the Amber Alert. He completed 6 of his first 8 for 83 yards and a TD pass (and a TD run). After the Broncos took possession with roughly 6:30 left in the third quarter and down by just 6, he completed his day going 7 of 21 for 102 more yards and 2 more TD’s. Unfortunately, those 2 TD’s were to Bills defenders on his 3 interceptions in that stretch. That, folks, is a disappearing act.

Each Tuesday, various members of the Helmet2Helmet forum community — known as Team Ugly (including yours truly) — will analyze, criticize, praise, and mock all of the happenings from the prior week of NFL action in their own unique way.

Previously: Week 14 | Week 13 | Week 12 | Week 11 | Week 10 | Week 9 | Week 8 | Week 7 | Week 6 | Week 5 | Week 4 | Week 3| Week 2 | Week 1

Twas the weekend before Christmas, a strange one, indeed. Many teams entered Week 15 with a strong sense of need.

Among them, the Cowboys, who pounded the Bucs. And the Giants, whose effort Sunday defined the word “sucks.” The Falcons had their way and clobbered Jacksonville. And the Saints returned home from Minnesota, fresh from the kill. The Pats locked up the AFC East, dealing Tebow a setback. The Lions helped themselves, edging the silver and black.

The Jets were grounded by the Eagles, flying high. Titans’ fans are asking themselves “Why, oh Why?” The Texans were stopped by a man named Cam. The Bengals turned St. Louis into the sacrificial Ram. The Bears were naughty, and got Caleb Hanie in their stocking. The Bills were pathetic and will undergo much mocking.

The Chiefs, of all teams, dealt the Packers their first loss. They held Aaron Rogers to only one TD toss.

As noted, Seattle stymied the Bears. While Arizona edged Cleveland, if anyone cares.

Later, San Diego inflicted on the Ravens one of those nights. On Monday, the Niners smothered Pittsburgh under wacky lights.

By the time the gifts are opened from under the tree, many results of Week 16 we will see. While the kids giggle wildly and play with their toys, we’ll know who won between the Eagles and Cowboys. The city of New York will know who is its best. Meanwhile we’ll know if the Niners or Seahawks won in the northwest. The Raiders will have renewed their rivalry with KC, while the Broncos return from Buffalo, and a victory would be key.

So 15 are in the books with two more to do. Merry Christmas to all, and here’s the GBU.

Good
Detroit Lions – A loss Sunday in Oakland would have hurt, but not ended the Lions’ playoff hopes. That looked like their lot in life after a fumble resulted in a Raider TD and 27-14 lead with less than eight minutes left. Detroit then embarked on scoring drives of 71 yards in 2:41 and 98 yards in 1:35 to take the lead. They still needed Suh to swat down a potential game-winning 65-yard FG in the dying seconds to preserve the victory. But, with the pressure on, this win brought back memories of Lion conquests in the opening weeks of the season, overcoming deficits to win games late. The comeback win puts the Lions on the verge of a playoff berth.

Indianapolis Colts – When a team enters Week 15 winless and notches their first victory against a playoff contender, that is worth mention here. The Colts combined a strong defensive effort, the running of Donald Brown and efficient quarterbacking by Dan Orlovsky to avoid infamy. The defense contained the Titans run game, intercepted a pair of passes and collected a fumble. Brown raced for 161 yards on only 16 carries, one being an 80 yard TD to salt the game away. Orlovsky only contributed 81 yards, but was 11 of 17 and 18 of those yards were a third quarter TD pass to Reggie Wayne to take the lead. For the first time in 2011, the Colts did what they had to when it counted, and it lands them here.

Kansas City Chiefs – After last week’s game against the Jets, you could just tell the Chiefs were going to do great things. Okay maybe not. The Chiefs have taken their share of lumps in 2011. They delivered on in Week 15. Whodathunk KC would outgain the Packers by almost 125 yards, or Orton would out-duel Rodgers by almost 65 yards in four less passes and six more completions. The play-calling was crisp and timely on both sides of the ball. Perhaps equally important, the Chiefs held a time of possession advantage of almost 13 minutes, limiting the number of chances the Packer offense had to get untracked. It was an all-out Good effort to stop the Packers winning streak one day shy of a year and easily the best overall football game that Kansas City has played this season.

New England Patriots – This was probably the biggest test left on the Pats schedule. With the divisional nearly wrapped up, the Pats spent the first quarter mostly watching the Broncos run for over 130 yards and eventually building a 16-7 lead. They then engaged warp drive and vaulted to 27 unanswered points and responded to a subsequent Broncos challenge. The big coup was battering the Broncos defense for over 450 yards. The Pat defense also collected three fumbles to counteract nearly 400 total yards against, 252 on the ground. New England ended the day with the AFCE title firmly in hand, having made a statement against a surging Broncos team in Denver.

Philadelphia Eagles – Even if they end up missing the playoffs, which in all likelihood they will, the Eagles showed what they are really capable of when they’re hitting on all cylinders. Michael Vick and LeSean McCoy simply overmatched the Jets’ lumbering defense, whom they simply tore up on the ground. On the defensive side of the ball, Jason Babin added another three sacks and utterly embarrassed right tackle Wayne Hunter, who looked like he had no business on an NFL field. Andy Reid coached like his job indeed depended on it, and what resulted was possibly the finest game the Eagles have played all year. There’s no question that 2011 was a very disappointing year for Philadelphia, filled with what could have been, but they demonstrated that they’re nearly unbeatable when all phases show up and play to their potential.

San Diego Chargers – The Chargers looked like the playoff team against the Ravens Sunday night. They used a sound running attack and Rivers’ best game of the year to frustrate Baltimore 34-14. San Diego broke a 7-all tie by scoring the next 27 points, including points on their first five possessions. The right upright prevented them from scoring on their sixth. By the final gun they scored on six of eight possessions and did not punt nor turn the ball over. Add seven sacks and two interceptions by the defense and you have a Good performance.

Bad
Baltimore Ravens – The Ravens had a playoff spot sewn up when they walked onto the field Sunday night in San Diego. They looked like they were content with that. Overall, Baltimore was ineffective in every way possible except punting. Flacco had two touchdowns complemented by a pair of interceptions. He was sacked seven times. They gained less than 300 yards, which might not have been a problem except that the defense gave up 415. The Ravens gave up an average of over 11.5 yards every time San Diego threw a pass. Part of the problem is Rivers was not sacked and not pressured all that often. Not everything was at stake Sunday night, but enough was for Baltimore to at least show a passing interest in playing well.

Houston Texans – Despite the injuries, this should have been a good matchup for the Texans. After all, Houston wins largely with a stout running game and strong defense. The Panthers defense is suspect and their offense tends to go silent late against good defenses. The Texans did manage to rush for 150 yards at 6 per carry, but lost the turnover battle 3-0 and only dented the end zone once in a home loss to Carolina. They were not without chances, even after falling behind 21-0 by halftime. Their first three drives in the second half resulted in points, narrowing the gap to 21-13. They then surrendered an 80-yard drive to dig the hole back to 15. The Texans last chance to challenge ended with an interception in the end zone with 7:30 left. They never touched the ball again. The lackluster performance drops them out of the #1 slot in the AFC with two to play.

Pittsburgh Steelers – Much like their AFC North counterparts in Baltimore, the Steelers traveled to the west coast for a primetime matchup against a contending team. The result proved to be the same in that it wasn’t even close. With Big Ben hobbling onto the field with a bum ankle, the Steelers offense did nothing of note, except turn the ball over and stall on countless drives. Pittsburgh’s offensive line was no match for the Niners’ ferocious pass rush, which knocked down Roethlisberger on virtually every dropback. The Steelers’ top-ranked defense kept the team in the game, as they always do, but a late fourth quarter TD by San Fran put the game out of reach. It was a particularly stinging loss for the Steelers, who had a chance to take the outright lead in the division.

Ugly
Jacksonville Jaguars – There were 3 positives for the Jaguars in their Thursday night shellacking by the Falcons: 1. Maurice Jones-Drew was able to shrug off an early leg injury and was the MJD we all know and love 2. They blocked a punt and returned it for a TD. 3 There new owner, Shahid Khan, has an awesome mustache. Aside from that, Jacksonville looked abysmal. Blaine Gabbert looked like a rookie QB. The Jaguars’ offensive line did not do him any favors by allowing John Abraham and company to sack the rookie 5 times. Add in the dropped passes, muffed punt and Matt Ryan’s shredding of their secondary and you have a recipe for disaster. Although there was little hope for Jacksonville to win the game, many had hoped they would at least field the same team that destroyed the Bucs last week. Instead, fans got the team who will likely be drafting in the top 5 of the 2011 NFL season. Interim coach Mel Tucker may not be there next year, but most NFL fans will have no clue because the Jaguars definitely will not be on national television 3 times next year.

New York Giants – It is the season of giving and the Giants did just that against the Redskins. Eli Manning gift wrapped three interceptions that the Redskins redeemed for 10 points, while the offense as a whole self-destructed in the red zone. Their second half adventures inside the Washington 20 yielded a sack and missed FG, an interception, a turnover on downs (yet another sack) before finally putting the ball into the end zone after 59:23 of play. Combine that futility with the offense doing absolutely nothing in the first half, and a 23-27 point turnaround. After putting themselves in solid position to win the division last week in Dallas, the Giants played the role of chumps this week.

New York Jets – So far this season, Rex Ryan’s bunch haven’t been frequent visitors of our ‘Ugly’ section, but after their miserable performance against the Eagles, they wholeheartedly deserve it. Entering a game against what some called an inferior opponent, and with the chance to separate themselves from the rest of the wildcard pack, the Jets laid a complete egg. There were turnovers. There were penalties, including an idiotic one by a so-called captain. There was a disturbing feeling that the Jets simply weren’t prepared for this game, nor the implications to their postseason chances. While the players definitely underperformed, Ryan is one of the main culprits here. He was thoroughly outcoached by Andy Reid (!?) and the scoreboard reflected as much. Ryan has to right the ship this week against their co-tenants, or else all of his usual preseason Super Bowl bluster will blow up in his face … again.

Honors
Tom Brady – To be the best you’ve got to beat the best, so Tebow isn’t top dog in the NFL…yet. Brady did a great job at taking advantage of good field position and his genetically superior tight ends to put the game effectively out of reach before Tebow Time could get started. For which we all heave a collective sigh of relief, as the mere thought of ESPNs reaction to another comeback had me reaching for my shaker to mix myself up a hemlock-and-tonic.

Drew Brees – No stranger to being awarded with honors, Brees carved up the injury-riddled Vikings’ secondary with an absurd amount of ease, throwing for 412 yards and five touchdowns. He had almost as many scoring tosses as incompletions (8), and finished with a 149.2 passer rating. Brees is now just 305 yards away from breaking Dan Marino’s single-season passing yards record, and should surpass the mark next Monday night in a crucial showdown with the Falcons.

Donald Brown – 161 yards on 16 rushes and a TD. Even if you take away the 80 yard score, that is still 81 yards in 15 carries, for over 5 yards a pop. His TD also sewed up the Colts first win.

LeSean McCoy – Displaying his patented cutback ability and blazing speed, McCoy made a stout Jets run defense look silly, rushing for 102 yards and three touchdowns on just 18 carries. The Jets had fits containing McCoy on the perimeter, which was a concern going into the contest. With apologies to Michael Vick, who also turned in a good performance, Shady was by far the best offensive player on the field on Sunday.

Dishonors
Candlestick Park – It’s not your fault you are 50 years old, but the 90 year old transformer that supplies your power, the one with the builder’s plate that reads “Handcrafted with Pride by William Stanley and Thomas Edison” needs to be retired….as do you.

Caleb Hanie – When Jay Cutler went down, no one was expecting the young Caleb Hanie to simply replace him. Whatever promise Hanie showed in the NFC Championship last year has gone out the window. Before Caleb Hanie, Chicago appeared to be destined for a playoff spot. Now, the Bears will likely be at home trying to keep warm in January. Hanie’s horrific play seemed to reach a pinnacle against the Seahawks. Hanie threw 3 interceptions, 2 that were returned for scores and the third was deep in Seattle territory with Chicago looking to take an early lead. For all of the ridicule that Steve Bartman received for ruining the Cubs’ playoff hopes, one has to wonder where Hanie will be playing next year.

Hakeem Nicks – Every game one play seems to set the tone the day. In the Redskins/Giants game, that play came in the second series for the Giants when Hakeem Nicks dropped a wide open pass from Eli Manning when Nicks was clear of the secondary. The play could have set the tone early, giving the Giants an early lead and possibly deflating the hopes of the Skins. Instead Washington was able to recover and shut down the Giant offense for most of the game. How different would the Giants’ playoff hopes would look had Nicks simply caught the ball and walked into the end zone?

Mike Tomlin – Two things give Tomlin a mention here. First, the game plan required a healthy Ben Roethlisberger, when it was obvious to any common idiot Roethlisberger was anything but healthy. We realize this may have been Arians’ decision, but we also realize that Arians needs adult supervision sometimes. Something other than the status quo game plan was in order. Second, at some point (about the second series) it was clear that playing Roethlisburger was not a great idea. He was protecting his left foot (and rightfully so), that may have affected his ability to step into the throws and certainly put him at risk under constant pressure. The Steelers have two more games to perhaps wrest the AFCN away from the Ravens, plus the playoffs. In that grand scheme, how important was last night?

Awards
Ciron Black (Best of the Good) – The San Diego Chargers finally distinguished themselves on Sunday by outplaying the Baltimore Ravens in every aspect of the game. It is quite possibly too little, too late to save their 2011 season, but they earned the right to sip from the good stuff in Week 15.

Aunt Esther (Ugliest of the Ugly) – The Holidays mean shopping. And there is no place for shopping like New York. Given the collective ugliness of the New York Giants and New York Jets, Aunt Esther will be spending the week haunting the Big Apple. They collectively fell behind 45-0 before scoring, trailed 45-16 at halftime and lost by a total of 68-19. We wonder if she will get a foot massage from Rex Ryan while she’s there.

Lone Ranger (Who Was That Masked Man?) – Nobody, but nobody gave Kansas City a second thought against Green Bay. A lousy season culminating with the sacking of Todd Haley facing Team Perfection. Then wait, over the hill rides Romeo Crennel to unite this band of misfits. Sure, it may only last a week, but KC made the most of it. At least Silver hopes it only lasts a week.

Amber Alert (Greatest Disappearance) – Right when the pundits were back in “he’s elite” mode, Eli Manning went missing. Manning threw three picks and no TD’s. One of those picks occurred in the end zone, the other two led to 10 Redskin points.

Each Tuesday, various members of the Helmet2Helmet forum community — known as Team Ugly (including yours truly) — will analyze, criticize, praise, and mock all of the happenings from the prior week of NFL action in their own unique way.

Previously: Week 13 | Week 12 | Week 11 | Week 10 | Week 9 | Week 8 | Week 7 | Week 6 | Week 5 | Week 4 | Week 3| Week 2 | Week 1

Collapse: from Dictionary.com: to fall or cave in; crumble suddenly: The roof collapsed and buried the crowd. Or, to breakdown; come to nothing; fail: It is a fitting theme in Week 14.

Carolina jumped out to a 23-7 halftime lead at home against the Falcons. Then, collapse. Outscored 24-0 in the second half to lie toes up to a 31-23 loss.

Cincinnati led Houston 16-3 at halftime, only to watch helplessly as the Texans scored in the dying seconds to complete the Bengals collapse, 20-19.

Tampa jumped out to a 14-0 lead in Jacksonville. Then, whoosh. The Bucs gave up 41 unanswered to write their entry as “collapse of the week.”

Dallas led the Giants 34-22 at home with under 6:00 left. Slam, bam, thank you ma’am. 15 points and a blocked FG later, the Cowboys trotted off after their collapse, 37-34 losers.

Chicago completely stymied the Broncos in Denver, leading by ten with 4:00 left (and even with 2:30 left). Clunk. The Bears collapsed, allowing Denver to escape with a 13-10 win in OT.

Such was Week 14. The result of just those games was Houston sewed up a playoff berth by clinching the AFCS, while Atlanta, the Giants and Denver helped their causes. Cincinnati, Dallas, and Chicago may look back at this week with disdain.

It probably could have been worse: Oakland, Buffalo, Kansas City and St. Louis avoided collapse by never getting upright to begin with.

So, we eye up Week 15 with Green Bay, San Francisco and Houston having locked up their divisions and trips into the second season. The Saints assured themselves of no worse than a wild card berth. Baltimore (at San Diego) and Pittsburgh (at San Fran) can sew up playoff spots this weekend, with the Pats (at Denver) and Saints (at Minnesota) having a chance to clinch their divisions. The Falcons (hosting Jacksonville), Broncos, Jets (at Philly) and Detroit (at Oakland) look to strengthen their positions for the final stretch run. The Giants (hosting Washington) and Cowboys (at Tampa) hope to move a step closer. Oakland, Cincinnati (at St. Louis), Tennessee (at Indy) and Chicago (hosting Seattle) hope to reverse their fortunes in time to get a January invitation. Meanwhile, the Pack (at KC) looks to remain unbeaten.

Before that unfolds, give Week 14 one last look.

Good
Houston Texans – Depending on your perspective, the Texans won this game by either a point in the final seconds or by five yards early in the fourth quarter. Houston capped a 13-point second half comeback with a Yates-Walter TD pass with :02 left. However, the door was opened when the Bengals bungled a fumble return at the Texan 5 with about 11:30 left and a 19-10 lead. Houston recovered that fumble on their own 2 and dodged a bullet. Armed with a second chance, the Texans scored the game’s final 10 to wrap up their first AFCS title and earn their first-ever playoff berth. That alone made it a Good week.

Jacksonville Jaguars – After 16 minutes in Jacksonville, the Jags found themselves down 14-0 to the Bucs and this week looked like more of the same. Then they went on to do something very un-Jaguar-like and scored 28 unanswered over the next 14 minutes and 41 consecutive over the final 44 minutes. Maurice Jones-Drew scored four TD’s by himself. Gabbert threw a pair of TD passes (two to Jones-Drew) and the defense pitched in one of their own. The Jags also recovered four Buc fumbles and intercepted three passes. Keep in mind, all of this was accomplished in a little less than three quarters. In what is otherwise a wasted season in northern Florida, it is hard to not recognized this as Good.

New York Jets – The asterisk here is the opponent was the Chiefs. Still, the Jets badly needed to show they are a legitimate playoff team. They did. After some early sparring, New York put the game away with 21 unanswered points in the second quarter. Mark Sanchez was efficient through the air, with 181 yards and a pair of TD’s, plus another pair of TD runs. Shonn Greene added 129 yards and a TD on the ground, plus another 58 receiving. The Jets ground game helped the offense hold the ball for over 37 minutes of this contest. Meanwhile, the defense held the Chiefs offense in check, giving up only 3.8 yards per play. This time of year, playoff contenders need to take advantage of games against weak opponents, and the Jets did just that.

Bad
Dallas Cowboys – The Cowboys managed to do everything possible in the final 6 minutes to turn a decent effort and a possible stranglehold on the NFCE into a crushing defeat and a spot here. Up by 12 and with things going their way, the defense gave up two TD’s to the Giants in that fateful stretch, while the offense blew a chance to gain an easy first down in the midst of that comeback. Then their FG team failed to slow Jason Pierre-Paul’s rush on the game’s final play, allowing him to block the potential game tying FG. The final numbers show what a wasted opportunity this was. Dallas managed 444 yards of offense, ran the ball well and on defense controlled the Giants running game. The downside is the Giants still tallied over 500 yards of offense. The Cowboys are finding ways to lose these days, and may look back at the last two losses in the increasingly likely event they have January off.

Ugly
Oakland Raiders – Nobody expected the Raiders to knock off the undefeated Packers in Green Bay. But it wasn’t too much to ask them to show up. Maybe Oakland would have been better off if they hadn’t actually shown up. Four interceptions and a lost fumble that was returned for a TD against a decent team will get you a loss. Against an elite team it will get your run out of the stadium. On the other side of the ball, he Raider defense didn’t even inconvenience the Packers in the first half, leading to a 31-0 halftime deficit. It is fitting that the Play-by-Play listing on NFL.com shows every play in those first 25 minutes of the game as “Play Under Review.” Raider fans can only hope the NFL reverses every one of them. When you lose by 30 and it can be said the game was “not that close,” you wind up here.

Chicago Bears - As bad as Marion Barber’’s single handed contribution was toward the Bears collapse, he does not deserve the full blame for the loss. Though Chicago would have been able to feebly cling to victory without his gaffe, his bad day would have been a moot issue if the defense hadn’t performed a monumental collapse in the closing stanza. After dominating the entirety of the first three quarters and first minutes of the 4th, the defense went into a prevent mode and all the old cliches about how the prevent defense prevents victory came screaming to mind as the Broncos started mounting their comeback. The whole notion of this obsolescent tactic is to short circuit a game where you have a big lead..by allowing the opposition a probable scoring drive, while forcing them to burn a lot of clock. Thus allowing a few points but preventing a Frank Reich style miracle. Well someone forgot to tell the bears 10 points with 5:00+ to play is not a sufficient lead to even consider this tactic. Especially with an opposing QB who for all the criticisms leveled against him, is known for 4th quarter poise.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Other teams got annihilated on the road, but against Jacksonville? Seven turnovers? This years is not regression in Tampa, it is surrender.

Awards
Ciron Black (Best of the Good) - It wasn’t the most mindblowing win by any stretch of the imagination but Houston somehow keeps getting it done despite their roster falling to pieces and the win this week clinched the first playoff berth in franchise history. It has to be a little bittersweet given the common perception that they won’t go far with a roster this banged up, but for the perseverance to win despite adversity and the fans getting their first taste of the postseason, whatever it may bring, this week’s bottle goes to the Texans.

Aunt Esther (Ugliest of the Ugly) – Since Oakland players didn’t seem at all sheepish when claiming the won one for Al the week after All Davis passed (and the maybe should have since they sort of stumbled onto a win vs playing a particularly inspired game) neither will we as we say they did a disservice to his memory by spending the night with Esther. After falling just short of winning her affection the week before with their meltdown in Miami, the Raiders would not be denied twice and turned the impotence up to full blast.

Each Tuesday, various members of the Helmet2Helmet forum community — known as Team Ugly (including yours truly) — will analyze, criticize, praise, and mock all of the happenings from the prior week of NFL action in their own unique way.

Previously: Week 12 | Week 11 | Week 10 | Week 9 | Week 8 | Week 7 | Week 6 | Week 5 | Week 4 | Week 3| Week 2 | Week 1

’13′ is a number surrounded by lots of superstition and associated with bad luck and ill fortune by many.

Several NFL teams would agree with notion based on their fate last weekend as they suffered unexpected losses damaging their playoff aspirations. Dallas and Oakland are at the head of the line there dropping a game to an underdog with a losing record. Chicago would be next in line though the devastating loss of Forte on the heels of Cutler going down left many with diminished expectations there.

Then you have a team like Cincinnati, who most expected to lose but not in such spectacular fashion. The Patriots-Colts game may have been the worst of it, though. The mere lack of this game being on anyone’s radar as significant being just another cruel poke in the eye for Colts fans.

Still Week 13 was not all bad. This is typically when the first teams start clinching playoffs and 2011 was no exception with Green Bay and San Francisco punching their tickets to January play. Some teams, most notably Houston, New Orleans and New England put themselves into good position to possibly follow suit next week. Though Baltimore cannot clinch this week they have to feel good about their position and finally ending their bizarre trend of losing to teams they were expected to beat handily.

Though somewhat devoid of blockbuster matchups, week 14 is not without intrigue. The Cowboys and Giants try to pick up the pieces after they both suffered disappointing losses. The winner will take a lead in the division, Buffalo travels to San Diego for essentially an elimination game between two teams that have faded after fast starts. green bay is fun to watch this year and any team making a run at an undefeated season becomes a weekly event whoever they play, though Oakland seems an unlikely candidate to slay the giant on their own (possibly frozen) tundra, and assuming that goes as expected, the Broncos, playing host to a wounded Bears team have the chance to take essentially a 2 game lead in the division with 3 to play.

But we’ll get to all of that soon enough. First, let’s lake a look back at Week 13 to see who bowed to tradition, and who “made their own luck.”

Good
Green Bay Packers– Seriously? Little brother went out there and looked like he was ready to show that mean old Aaron Rodgers that his dreamy blue eyes weren’t going to get him to a perfect season. But just when the Giants got in to a groove (which they did) and looked like they were going to hold GB, maybe take the whole ordeal to be settled in OT, Rodgers and his circus freaks (his receivers must wear shoes two sizes too big to get those types of toe drags) marched down the field and put it between the uprights. While an offensive blowout of a game, the real story is that the Pack means business, and seems ready to fight tooth and nail to give the ’72 Dolphins a reason to fear their title.

San Francisco 49ers – We all know beating the Rams isn’t as hard as Brees made it look that fateful , inexplicable day, but to keep any team to a shut out is a big deal this late in the year. Also, if you can more than quadruple your opponent’s yards on the ground and double them in the air, you’re clearly kicking ass on both sides of the ball. The 49ers have had their best season in a decade, and have earned their (albeit small) crown for topping the NFCW. It’s always nice to see division champs go to the playoffs with winning records. Congrats to Frank Gore for becoming the career rushing leader for the 49ers, and Smith had two HUGE second half touch downs, each for 50+ yards.

Miami Dolphins – Reggie! Reggie! Reggie! So it looks like Reggie decided he likes this whole ‘featureback’ thing, and thought he’d give it a real chance. This week he led the team with 100 rushing yards, and even encouraged Daniel Thomas to step up his game with 73 yards, for a team 209 yards rushing. Not all that impressive until you realize that they held the Raiders to 46. Yes, just 46. Their net passing yards were roughly 100 less than the Raiders, but they had the ball for 17 more minutes than the Raiders, and that really is what tells the tale of the Phins. Matt Moore has made the transition to starter with surprising ease, and if you look beyond his relatively small number of passing attempts and low completion percentage- all of which he overcomes by, you know, winning- he’s been a massive upgrade from Henne, and the team seems all the better for it.

Bad
Kansas City Chiefs – After last weeks’ discussion about how yes, you can win and be Bad at the same time, the Chiefs’ win over the Bears was an excellent example of this concept. The D played an extraordinary game, were able to put pressure on everyone, and keep the Bears to 3 sad, sad little points. If not for the offense stinking up the field, the D alone would get them into the Good category. The offense was ineffective, underpowered, and struggled against a very capable- though beatable- Chicago D. Also, they jumped on the chance to bring a veteran QB onto the team, and then got him hurt on HIS FIRST PLAY. Not to say that Orton didn’t look good in red, he just looks better without that weird crooked finger. The only TD they had was on a hail mary that bounced out of the hands of two defenders and grabbed by Run DMC, the most adorable member of the hands team. By not taking many risks, the O didn’t get many big plays, and while doing enough to win the game, certainly didn’t look pretty while doing it.

Cincinnati Bengals - For the third time in the last four weeks the Bengals faced a test against one of the AFC North elite teams. And for the third time, they failed. The Bengals’ day started out promising, but after a FG attempt was blocked, things quickly went south for Cincinnati. Halfway through the second quarter, they were already down 21-0 and the little chance that they had at winning the AFC North was going out the window. The loss also damaged the Bengals wild card hopes as they drop to a tie with many of the AFC teams. If they do not trip up again they should be safe, but with a rookie QB, even one as good as Dalton has been, nothing is certain.

Detroit Lions – After a promising start to the season, which made us all think they’ve suddenly turned into a legitimate playoff contender, the Lions are starting to show their true and familiar colors. On primetime television against the Saints, Detroit was thoroughly outclassed by Sean Payton’s bunch; the final score made the game seem closer than it actually was. What’s more disturbing is that, even without suspended DT Ndamukong Suh, the players are still committing penalties with an outrageous amount of defiance toward the league. For TE Brandon Pettigrew to shove a ref was totally uncalled for. Two times is a pattern now and the Lions’ actions stem from their head coach, who’s no stranger to controversy this season. Losers of five out of their last seven games, Detroit needs to right the ship — and fast.

Ugly
St. Louis Rams – I know it’s mean to pick on a team that is without their starting QB, but arguably, they’re not doing THAT much worse with Feely. The poor kid struggled out of the gate, and while both QBs were sacked 4 times, Feely seemed more affected by it. He had a couple of good throws, but as mentioned in the 49ers review, they were outmatched in every aspect of the game. The Rams have taken it upon themselves to define “unremarkable”, and I’ll be submitting their picture to Webster’s after this review is complete. Thankfully St. Louis fans have the Cards, and it’s clear that they get their self confidence from baseball, and the talk of the Rams moving again might move beyond rumor if they keep this stink up.

Oakland Raiders - Just when things were beginning to look up for the Raiders, they put on a stinker in Miami and their playoff hopes took a big blow. Oakland was massacred against Miami and are now tied with the surging Broncos atop the AFC West. The Raiders, who currently rank 4th in rushing, ran for only 46 yards, roughly 100 less yards than their average. On the other hand, Miami ran all over the place gaining over 200 yards on the ground. With their playoff hopes on the line, things do not get much any easier for the Silver & Black as they travel to Green Bay to take on the undefeated Packers before finishing the season with a re-Suh-viated Lion team and 2 AFC West rivals.

Philadelphia Eagles - I was tempted to give the Eagles a pass because they were once again playing without Michael Vick and Jeremy Maclin, in a hostile environment, but you’d think they would’ve played just a tad harder with their playoff hopes hanging in the balance. It seemed like Philadelphia never got off the bus and it showed against the Seahawks, who dominated them with ease. From a spectator’s vantage point, it looks like the team has completely mailed it in and are just going through the motions to close out an epically disappointing 2011 campaign. Coach Andy Reid may need to completely clean house to save his own behind, but you have to figure his leash has become significantly shorter than in years past.

Honors
The Pittsburgh Steelers‘ special teams – A punt return for a TD, a blocked FG on their opponents opening drive, a forced fumble on a kickoff which led to a TD. Not a bad day at the office for the special teams. They were the catalysts for the Steelers win yesterday. Remember, a team that gets a turnover for a TD or a kickoff or punt return for a TD win the game 79% of the time.

Aaron Rodgers – Statistically Aaron Rodgers had his worst game of the year. In this “worst game” of the year, Rodgers completed 61% of his passes, threw 4 TD passes, had a passer rating of 106.2 and led Green Bay on a game winning drive in the final minute of their game against the Giants. Rodgers is currently the unquestioned MVP of the 2011 NFL season. Now that Green Bay has won the NFC North maybe A-Rod will start to slow down. Or, much more likely, he will continue to tear through the NFL. We have yet to see the last of the Discount Double Check.

Dishonors
The Detroit Lions - “Attitude reflects Leadership” to quote Julius, describes what I’m seeing from the Lions. Ever since Jimmy “may the Schwartz be wit cha” lost his cool after the 49ers game, this Lion’s team has fallen right in line with their TOTAL lack of discipline. I’m not sure if it would have mattered last night against that Saints OF, but the 3 or 4 unsportsmanlike/ unnecessary roughness penalties that they took sure didn’t help. IMO, Schwartz needs to sit down some of those guys next to Suh this week to try to nip this in the bud. I only wonder if the horse is too far out of the barn on this one.

Jason Garrett - The Cowboy coach will forever be questioned for his questionable coaching decisions late in regulation against the Cardinals. With 2 timeouts and 26 seconds remaining, Tony Romo completed a pass to Dez Bryant at Arizona’s 31 yard line. Instead of using one of their timeouts, Dallas elected to rush to the line and try to spike the ball and save a time out. Unfortunately they were unable to stop the clock until 8 seconds remained, wasting 18 precious seconds. Unable to advance the ball any further, Dallas had to settle for a long FG. Then Garrett made his most questionable decision of the day deciding to call a timeout as Dan Bailey sent a kick through the uprights. After being “iced” by his own coach, Bailey missed the retry and the Cowboys went on to lose to Arizona. Garrett will forever be questioned for his late game management and will probably have his juice box privileges taken away by Jerry Jones.

New York Giants’ defense – Granted, it’s a daunting and unenviable task to match up against the Packers’ high-octane offense, led by QB Aaron Rodgers. However, Big Blue’s offense continue to bail the defense out, matching Green Bay score for score throughout the entire game. To have the offense march down the field and score late in the fourth quarter, only to then let the Packers get in field goal range after two big passing plays is pathetic. To make matters worse, first place in the NFC East was on the line after Dallas lost, and the D blew it, letting a valiant effort by the offense go to waste. It’s a disheartening loss for the G-Men, who need to straighten out the kinks, starting this week against the aforementioned Cowboys on Sunday Night Football.

Awards
Ciron Black (Best of the Good) – Congratulations to Jim Harbaugh and the San Francisco 49ers, who exceeded expectations and clinched the NFC west title for the first time since 2002. It is our belief that the 49ers have the best defense in the NFC. That defense will be greatly tested come January but this day is theirs.

Aunt Esther (Ugliest of the Ugly) – Oakland does have a bag of excuses to go to. the East Coast transit effect, while probably an overplayed card, does matter. Losing to a revitalized Dolphin squad is not quite the shameful event it would have been around week 4. Still, for a team finding itself in the thick of the playoff hunt that was a game they needed to take if they were serious.

Lone Ranger (Who Was That Masked Man?) – Roy Helu: If you don’t know that name already you will soon. In a year which Redskins fan would probably like to forget there a few bright spots and he is one of them. Will be interesting to see how he fares against a Patriot defense this week which, for all its woes against the pass, has been solid against the run.

Amber Alert (Greatest Disappearance) – Jason Garret’s brain: It is sad when a few seconds of an otherwise decently coached 3 hours dominates the stage, but there is no getting around it. NFL Head coaches get the positions they have with the understanding that they will be accountable for things like this even when it is their player’s doing the screwing up, but when they themselves drop the ball, ouch.

Each Tuesday, various members of the Helmet2Helmet forum community — known as Team Ugly (including yours truly) — will analyze, criticize, praise, and mock all of the happenings from the prior week of NFL action in their own unique way.

Previously: Week 11 | Week 10 | Week 9 | Week 8 | Week 7 | Week 6 | Week 5 | Week 4 | Week 3| Week 2 | Week 1

Week Twelve brought us turkey, pecan pie, friends, family, food comas and not a lot of surprises. Still, some teams distinguished themselves for better or worse. There were some turkeys on the field, too.

Two teams remain perfect, although on opposite ends of the spectrum. The Pack took care of the Lions Thanksgiving afternoon. The Colts dropped a winnable game against the Panthers at home.

New England took a major stride in securing the AFCE, with the Jets displaying they are interested in the playoffs, as well. The three AFCN contenders all won and still control their own fates. In the South, both Houston and Tennessee won. The Raiders won in the West,with the Broncos giving chase.

Dallas took the lead in the NFCE, although it took a last-second FG to avoid a home loss to Miami on Thanksgiving (where is Leon Lett when you need him?). Green Bay all but secured the NFCN. The NFCS remains a two team race and the West still belongs to the Niners, despite their loss in Baltimore and Arizona’s win in St. Louis.

Del Rio is out in Jacksonville. Others will follow. We are left wondering how Norv Turner still has keys to the coach’s office in San Diego. Andy Reid did not exactly make a strong statement for his job in Philly this week. Sparano, Spaguolo, Caldwell and Haley can also feel heat under their backsides.

We now officially enter the time of year where we might see some snow bowls. Teams are either fighting for playoff spots, draft seeding, pride or playing out the string.

Looking ahead, Week Thirteen has a handful of games between teams holding on to playoff aspirations. Three early Sunday games look good in that respect: the Bengals visit the Steelers, Falcons visit the Texans, and Titans visit the Bills, which could be Buffalo’s last stand for 2012. The Pack visits New York to square off with the Giants in a late game, and the Saints host the Lions Sunday night. Other potentially interesting games are the Jets in DC. It is probably not a must-win for New York, but it is close. The Raiders visit the Dolphins, who have been pretty respectable in their last four games. Denver travels to Minnesota where a win would keep the Broncos playoff chances alive and realistic.

Then there is the game that missed: Indianapolis at New England. I’m sure that one looked like the marquee game when the schedule was released but it got flexed out of prime time in favor of Detroit-New Orleans. Raise your hand if you saw that one coming this offseason.

San Francisco and Green Bay can sew up their divisions. With some help, Houston and New England can get to the threshold of the same.

But for now, take one final look at Week Twelve, GBU style.

Good
Baltimore Ravens – The Ravens played the type of game Thanksgiving night that you see win in the postseason. Even though it might not be enough in the Super Bowl which will be played in a dome and probably against a high powered NFC offense, you still have to get there. And the way the Ravens played on defense and offense Thursday night against a VERY good 49ers team leads us to believe that they are the team to beat in the AFC, ESPECIALLY if the road to Indianapolis goes through Baltimore where they are now 6-0. A lot of it will depend on which Joe Flacco shows up to play.

Denver Broncos – The title of this section is Good, not Great. Denver has made a lunge into competitiveness largely with a strong defense. While people go ga-ga over Tim Tebow, consider this: since the bye week and change of QB’s, the defense is four points better per game and over a TD better if you parse out their worst performances on both side (Green Bay and Detroit respectively). Without the Lions game, this defense has given up an average of only 15 per game in that period. Meanwhile, the offense is almost two points per game lower than pre-bye week. Sunday was yet another example. The offense didn’t light up the scoreboard, but the defense held the Chargers in check, even coming up with an important stop when the Chargers approached FG range in overtime (in fact, threw them for a four yard loss). That forced a 53-yard FG attempt that went wide, enabling the Broncos to secure an overtime win in San Diego. The result pumps up their record to 6-5 and keeps them on the heels of the Raiders. It was not pretty, but on the balance sheet it was Good.

New England Patriots — The honors sections could literally be filled with members of the New England Patriots, but it may be easier to just put them all here. Tom Brady was Tom Brady with over 350+ yards and 3 TDs. Green-Ellis had 2 TDs. Both Deion Branch and Wes Welker had over 100 yards receiving. Even the defense got in on the action getting 2 sacks and an interception on Vince Young, while also holding LeSean McCoy to just 31 yards and 61 total yards. A few weeks after being written off, it looks as if the Patriots once again may be the team to beat in the AFC. Early reports from next week are the Patriots have destroyed the Colts.

New Orleans Saints – There’s a clear cut #1 team in the NFC in the Packers but there’s been debate as to who was second best. On Monday Night the Saints made a very strong case for it as they thrashed the Giants 49-24, greatly hurting their playoff chances. Drew Brees had a field day, going 24 of 38 for 363 yards for 5 total TDs (1 rushing) and 0 INTs. Jimmy Graham continues to be one of the fastest rising young stars in the NFL as he had another great game, catching 5 for 84 yards and 2 TDs. Graham currently has the 4th most receiving yards in the NFL and also tied for 4th in receiving TDs. It wasn’t just the Drew Brees show however, as Mark Ingram, Darren Sproles, and Pierre Thomas all had over 54 yards rushing and the Saints compiled 205 rushing yards altogether. We could be looking at a possible NFL season opener rematch in the playoffs if the Saints get together with the Packers.

Bad
Buffalo Bills – They didn’t get blown out like the two previous weeks, and they played well enough to beat the Jets, but the Bills’ free fall continues as they dropped yet another game. Although QB Ryan Fitzpatrick mostly had his way with the Jets’ secondary, he couldn’t get it done on the final drive as he saw a potential game-winning TD pass sail through the hands of WR Stevie Johnson. Speaking of Johnson, his TD celebration, mocking Plaxico Buress’ gunshot incident, was worth the spot in our Bad section. Could it have been karma preventing Johnson and the Bills from escaping MetLife Stadium with a victory? Perhaps. Either way, after a scorching hot start, Buffalo appears headed to a subpar, and yet another playoff-less season.

Oakland Raiders – They say it is better to win ugly than lose pretty but the Raiders will get all the credit they deserve here just by the addition of a win to their record. Otherwise, this was a game they would have lost to most teams. Despite an abysmal start for Caleb Hanie (in relief of injured Jay Cutler) complete with three standard issue “deer in the headlights” style interceptions, and the Raider defense doing a solid job of containing Matt Forte/Marion Barber, Oakland seemed determined to keep the Bears alive. The main culprit in that was a Raider offense that moved at will between the 20’s but stalled on cue in the red zone. Though this allowed Sebastian Janikowski to have a career day (see honors) it also allowed Hanie to settle down and lead a few solid drives that nearly led to a Bears win. Oakland finally crossed the plane late in the 4th to all but seal it but they could have put this one away before halftime. In Oakland’s defense they have lost McFadden and the WR corps has been decimated by injury, but they are going to need to find some offensive traction to stay atop the division and have any hope heading into January

San Diego Chargers – As if to try and cure themselves of their usual beginning of the year losing habit, they decided to spread their suck out over the last 12 games of the season, rather than concentrating it in the first four. This seems to have been an ill-advised strategy. Princess has been getting increasingly frustrated, and his usual offensive weapons have all started losing their edge. Also, the defense just checked out of the game after football Jesus decided to try that passing thing he’s been hearing so much about. Somehow the Denver secondary was able to push their walkers fast enough to break up most of Princess’s usual deep threats, while the line prevented their downhill runners from finding a groove. Dumervil and Von Miller were having a great time ruining Princess’s day, and that’s always good television – unless you like the Chargers, in which case, you are wrong.

Ugly
Detroit Lions – A surprising number of people (any) thought that the Lions were going to take their tiny bit of momentum and bring down the as-of-yet perfect Green Bay Packers. I’m pretty sure that not even the Lions players thought that, though Stafford does always seem to appear hopeful – probably a necessary condition for playing with the Lions. Aaron Rodgers didn’t even break a sweat getting to 307 yards in the air (in 22 completions), while Mr. Stafford only worked up 276 on 32 completions (35 if you count the three he threw to Packers. Who could blame him though, Rodgers does make it look fun.) When your pocket QB runs for only eight yards less than your best-performing running back, things aren’t going well. Plus with Best on IR and Smith hurt after scoring their only rushing TD, things don’t look like they’re getting better for the Lion’s rushing attack. If Stafford keeps forgetting what team he’s on, the Lions might become as jaded and bitter as Suh, throwing tantrums and holding their breath for attention.

New York Giants – Despite Eli’s best efforts to not look like an idiot next to Drew Brees, the Giants lost in rather convincing fashion, thanks mostly to efforts of their defense. They boldly went nowhere near Drew in an effort to prevent messing up his hair, and the secondary took a very polite “no, after you!” approach to man coverage. Sure, Graham is hard to cover, but the number of times they double teamed him while leaving one of the Saints’ other, faster, receivers open was disgusting. In any other game 24 points would have been a respectable score, and would have won many of them, but when Brees and Co. score nearly 50, it’s just not good enough. Poor play on both sides of the line, and a secondary that only knew what was going on 30% of the time made it a Monday night loss that was the opposite of memorable.

Philadelphia Eagles — Mired in failure, the Eagles were somehow still alive as their playoff hopes clung to life support. Now, however, it’s time to pull the plug. Granted they were once again without QB Michael Vick and WR Jeremy Maclin, but Philadelphia quickly blew a 10-0 lead and ended up being thrashed by the Patriots, who got their groove back in a major way. The defense was severely outmatched by Tom Brady and the Pats’ aerial attack, surrendering 38 points and a ton of yards. On offense, DeSean Jackson turned in another poor effort, leading to Andy Reid benching him in the fourth quarter. It’s getting ugly in Philly, and a major shakeup could be in store this offseason.

Honors
Drew Brees – 350+ passing yards with 4 passing TDs, 1 rushing TD, and no INTs vs. a normally tough Giants defense. If it weren’t for Aaron Rodgers godly play this year Brees would arguably be your front runner for MVP

Chris Johnson – After spending much of the season on the Amber Alert watch list, there have been reports out of Tennessee that Chris Johnson has in fact been sighted. CJ2K ran holes through the Buccaneers in what is clearly his best game of the year so far. Johnson nearly quadrupled his single game average of 50.9 by running for 190 yards with an impressive 8.3 YPC. It will be interesting to see if Johnson can help the Titans’ playoff push or go back to the running back they saw in the first 10 games of the year.

Willis McGahee – He had only three carries in overtime, but gained 45 yards in the process, including the final 24 to set up the game-winning field goal. Overall, McGahee had 117 yards in 23 total carries.

Von Miller - The guy has been playing lights out all year and had another good game for the Broncos with 10 tackles, two being for losses, and a sack. Sunday, in addition to everything else, it was Miller who pushed San Diego to a 53-yard overtime FG attempt when they were trying to position the ball for a 45-ish yard attempt. It is Miller’s DROY award to lose, as he as well as the rest of the Broncos defense and Willis McGahee have been the real reasons why the Broncos have won five straight.

Patrick Peterson & Beanie Wells – They played the Rams so they need to share a spot, but Peterson and Wells deserve some recognition for the clinic they put on in St. Louis. Peterson returned another punt for a TD. That would be Peterson’s fourth (tying a record) and also his fourth over 80 yards (setting a record). Meanwhile, Beanie Wells just ran for 228 yards and carried Arizona’s offense to a victory.

Specialist party in O-town - In a game featuring some pretty good returners, it was the guys kicking the ball that deserve some love in the Chicago/Oakland game. Gould hit 2 key field goals, both over 50 yards. Lechler had a punt of 80 yards, that’s 80 in the air, (that is one way to keep it out of Hester’s hands) and another 50 yarder that trapped Chicago inside its own 5. Seabass had a career high 6 field goals and scored 19 of Oakland’s 25 points. People often forget kickers are people too and they need love just like the rest of us

Terrell Suggs – On Thanksgiving night, Suggs may have been the hungriest guy on the field. Suggs had an impressive 3 sacks for Baltimore who needed every one of them in their victory over the 49ers.

Dishonors
DeSean Jackson and Dwayne Bowe - The two alligator armed a couple passes in their games, Jackson dropping two TDs and later getting benched in the 4th quarter for his poor play while Bowe didn’t even attempt to make any sort of effort whatsoever late in the game vs. the Steelers while going up for a pass.

Stevie Johnson - He very well could be the reason why the Bills lost. Not only did he cost his team valuable field position late in the game with a tasteless TD celebration but he dropped an easy pass going across the middle uncovered late in the game for a first down and was unable to grab a second one for a TD.

Tyler Palko – I know there is a reason why this kid was making his first NFL start of his career, but he had 4 turnovers of the worst turnovers I’ve have seen to spoil a great effort by his defense.

San Francisco 49ers’ Offensive Line - Usually stout, the 49ers’ Offensive Line had a pathetic showing against Baltimore. On national television the 49ers’ big men allowed 9 sacks, allowed 9 tackles for losses and were only able to guide the ground game to a 3.5 YPC. Luckily for the Niners, they have until the playoffs to solve their woes as they will likely clinch their division any week now.

Matthew Stafford - Matthew Stafford started out this year looking like he was ready to enter the elite class of quarterbacks, but has cooled dramatically in recent weeks. Playing with an injured thumb, Stafford has 9 interceptions in 3 games. The Lions are in an unfamiliar spot being in the playoff hunt so late in the year, but to stay there Mr. Stafford needs to bring his game back to the level it once was.

Ndamukong Suh – He’s starting to make Albert Haynesworth look like a model citizen. This guy was the definition of Dishonor this week, not only as a player, but you have to question his character, not so much for the action, but for the explanation.

Norv Turner - It is time for Norv to find a realtor because he will inevitably be out of a job early in 2012. Another San Diego essentially eliminates the under-performing Chargers from the playoffs and Norv did not help matters with some questionable decisions near the end of the game. Norv may have a reason to show a lack of faith in Rivers after the way he has played this year, but calling a stretch play to Tolbert instead of a safe inside run. That play moved back an attempt for Nick Novak, who missed a long 53 yarder. That series of events just set up the pre-ordained game winning drive by Tim Tebow.

Awards
Ciron Black (Best of the Good) – Even though they have a dirty habit of mixing some Gold in with their Black we have no choice but to give this week’s bottle to New Orleans. Shining in an otherwise hot and cold NFC field behind the front runner…The Saints’ commanding performance versus a solid Giants squad has us believing the road to the Super Bowl might not be a complete cakewalk for the Packers.

Aunt Esther (Ugliest of the Ugly) – Philadelphia was expected to lose, and possibly even lose big. What wasn’t expected was the nugget of hope they gave to their fans by jumping out to a quick lead. It was all just a tease though, and for diehard Eagle fans, just the kind of soul crushing meltdown that Esther loves the most.

Lone Ranger (Who Was That Masked Man?) – It has been a somewhat disappointing career for Beanie Wells to date. Drafted in the 1st round in 2009 by the Cardinals as the heir apparent to Edgerrin James, Sunday’s game was just his 3rd 100 yard game in those 3 seasons but with this explosion he is poised to post his first 1000 yard season and also become the first 1000 yard rusher for the team since Edge in 2007.

Amber Alert (Greatest Disappearance) – Ndamukong Suh – In a season that seems to be overflowing with injuries it seems even more of a shame when a player of this caliber takes himself out of play with conduct issues. Hopefully two weeks in the holding tank serve as a wakeup call and Suh comes back ready to take care of business and finds him team playing for more than just… pride (sorry, couldn’t resist)

Each Tuesday, various members of the Helmet2Helmet forum community — known as Team Ugly (including yours truly) — will analyze, criticize, praise, and mock all of the happenings from the prior week of NFL action in their own unique way.

Previously: Week 10 | Week 9 | Week 8 | Week 7 | Week 6 | Week 5 | Week 4 | Week 3| Week 2 | Week 1

Week Eleven has come and gone. It has taken the bye weeks away with it. Through the end of the season everybody plays every week. That also means for the fist time in about two months, everybody has played the same number of games.

The identities teams forged in the earlier weeks and the trends we saw developing largely held this week. Miami continued its roll, albeit too little, too late to save the season. Seattle had a surprisingly easy time of it on the road against the Rams. San Francisco continued what they do, plodding along to a win that all but wrapped up the NFCW title. New England caught fire in the second half to steamroll Kansas City. Those were the “easy ones.”

Others clawed their way to important wins. Dallas survived in DC to tie the Giants, thanks to the Eagles defensive effort against the Giants. The Packers remain undefeated.

Heading into Thanksgiving weekend, the playoff picture is starting to clear up. The AFCE is New England’s to lose with the Jets and Bills both nursing losing streaks. The AFCN is still a three-team race, although the Bengals have not helped their cause with consecutive losses to the Steelers and Ravens. In the South, Houston is still in control but Tennessee is hanging on. The AFCW is a mess. There is a top to bottom two game difference and everybody is 2-2 in the division.

Over on the NFC side, the East is tightening. The Cowboys and Giants are now tied with Philly two back, and hanging in there thanks to a 3-1 divisional record. The North is the Packers’ to lose, although Chicago and Detroit both look ready to fight for the right to play in January. The South has become a two team race, with the Saints leading the Falcons by a game and Tampa fading. There is no NFCW, just the 49ers at this point.

Right now, the North’s in both conferences look capable of entering three teams each in the post season.

Week Twelve may put a few things to rest. The Lions host the Packers. The Lions have little hope of catching the Packers, but a win could make a loud playoff statement. The Jets host the Bills on Sunday, where somebody’s playoff hopes could end. Other games between playoff contenders include the Bears at Raiders, Niners at Ravens, and Giants at Saints. In other games with playoff implications that could be up for grabs include the Cowboys hosting the streaking Dolphins, Bengals trying to rebound at home against the Browns, Bucs at Titans, and Broncos at Chargers. Finally, the Eagles host the Pats in a critical game for Philly and one that would put the Pats a step closer to clinching the division.

While we wait for the first kickoff on Thursday and the inevitable food coma afterward, let’s recap Week Eleven GBU style.

Good
Dallas Cowboys – It was far from a pretty game for the Cowboys, but they got it done against a bitter rival on the road. In an up-and-down game, Dallas rallied in the fourth quarter to tie, and eventually take the lead, before the Redskins marched down the field, scored, and sent the contest to overtime. Dan Bailey eventually nailed the game-winning field goal for the Cowboys, who’ve now won three straight games and, coupled with the Giants’ loss, are now tied atop the NFC East. If Tony Romo can continue to perform at a high level, the ‘Boys may actually have a shot of capturing the division.

Miami Dolphins – It’s a rare occurrence to see the Dolphins in our Good section this season, but they more than deserve it this week. Facing a reeling, yet still dangerous Bills team, the Dolphins dominated in every facet of the game — offense, defense, special teams — as they cruised to a 35-8 win. Miami QB Matt Moore tossed three touchdowns and finally looked like the player the Panthers thought so highly of last year. Winners of three straight, the Dolphins may have taken themselves out of the running for Andrew Luck, but look as if they’re not going to go quietly this season. They have the chance to spoil a few contending teams’ chances over the final six games.

Philadelphia Eagles – In a game that kept their slim playoff chances on life support and may have cooled the rumors of Andy Reid’s demise (although temporarily), the Eagles pulled off a big win against the rival Giants. The score, 17-10, wasn’t particularly impressive, but considering they won without their best QB (Vick) and WR (Maclin), the outcome was. Backup Vince Young managed the game well enough and the defense held the Giants’ explosive offense — finally at full strength — in check all night, confusing Eli Manning and shutting down the power running attack. This could’ve been the most complete game the once-hyped ‘Dream Team’ has played all year. Their shot at the postseason is still slim, but this is one victory they’re sure to revel in.

San Francisco 49ers – As has been the case most of the season, the 49ers handled their opponent and cruised to a victory. Granted, it was at home, against the John Skelton-led Cardinals, but the Niners’ defense continues to look dominant and quarterback Alex Smith continues his resurgance under coach Jim Harbaugh. San Fran will easily become the first team to clinch their division this year, and actually have a chance to do some damage in the postseason. At this point, Harbaugh has to be, at the very least, in the running for Coach of the Year. What he’s already done with a former basement-dwelling squad is borderline miraculous. However, a big test comes on Turkey Day, when he takes on his brother in Baltimore. It’s shaping up to be one of the better games of the 2011 campaign.

Seattle Seahawks – Quietly, the Seahawks have won four games in the 2011 campaign. Their fourth thus far came on the road, in St. Louis. The Seahawks are not yet capable of soaring, so they push the envelope. They did so Sunday by holding the Rams to 185 yards of offense at only 3 per play. They picked off Bradford twice and gathered in a fumble. What may be more impressive than the mere fact that they controlled most of this game on the road is that they even fell behind 7-0 after an early interception of their own. No, they are not great, and nobody is going to confuse them with the Pack or Pats, but improvement is often measured in small steps. The Hawks took a step or two Sunday.

Bad
Carolina Panthers – When they look back on their season, the Panthers are going to constantly wonder what could have been. There have been numerous instances in 2011 where they’ve taken a lead late into the game, only to crumble in the final minutes. Sunday against the Lions was no different. To be fair, rookie QB Cam Newton made a few too many mistakes, tossing four picks to an opportunistic Lions defense, but the Cats’ defensive group couldn’t stop a nosebleed, allowing five Matthew Stafford TD passes and Kevin Smith, fresh off his couch, to rush for 140 yards and two scores. The Panthers took a big lead in the fourth quarter before the Lions awoke and simply took the game over. On the bright side, Newton continues to justify his draft status, as he recorded three total TD’s (one in the air, two on the ground).

Ugly
Buffalo Bills – At one point in the Buffalo-Miami game, there was liquid pouring from the sky. It is tough to tell if that liquid was rain or the tears of Bills’ fans after realizing that their season is over. After being embarrassed by the Dolphins, it appears as if Buffalo will once again fade again into oblivion. Dare say, the Buffalo’s playoff chances are cooked (deep fried and covered with hot sauce?)? Both Ryan Fitzpatrick and Fred Jackson have come back down to earth, while Buffalo’s defense continues to be inept. Calling this week’s match up with the Jets a must win is an understatement, but it won’t be easy for either team as they are both fighting for their seasons.

New York Giants – Although they didn’t get blown out or lose in other horrible fashion, the Giants deserve an Ugly spot because they blew a game they needed to win — and, by all accounts, should have won — to stay in first in the NFC East. Under the bright lights of primetime, and in front of their home crowd, Big Blue’s offense couldn’t get going and their defense allowed a decimated Eagles’ offense to do just enough to escape MetLife Stadium with a big win. The Giants are still tied for first in the NFC East, but have little room for error as the Cowboys are now right on their heels. A big Monday Night Football tilt against the Saints next week will tell us what this year’s Giants are truly made of.

New York Jets – It is time to dim the lights in Gotham and time for Gang Green to get ready for 2012. After getting “Tebowed” Thursday night, the Jets will need to play flawless ball the rest of the way to have a shot at the playoffs. Something they have proven they are incapable of doing thus far this year. Some will say that this was a tough game for the Jets coming off an emotional loss to the Patriots on Sunday night, but this was inexcusable. Offensively, Sanchez threw another pick six and the Jets were not able to get anything going on the ground.The offensive line was destroyed again. Defensively the Jets were in prime position to win the game, but let Tim Tebow take Denver down the field on the game winning drive. Tim Tebow put an exclamation point on the drive when he ran around Eric Smith’s “containment” and strolled into the end zone. Even the usually trust worthy special teams was horrible with a lost fumble by Joe McKnight and an impressive 13 yard punt by TJ Conley. All of the Jet’s final 6 games are winnable, but based on the way they have played the past two weeks those dreams will remain out of reach.

Honors

Kevin Smith — From his couch to the gridiron, Kevin Smith stepped into the Lions’ injury-decimated backfield and ran roughshod on the Panthers, posting 201 yards from scrimmage and two touchdowns. He was more explosive than ever, averaging 8.8 yards per carry and looks to be, at the very least, a very viable fill-in for Jahvid Best.

Von Miller — Though he got away with a few questionable hits, Miller was a nightmare for QB Mark Sanchez and the Jets offensive line, as he recorded 1.5 sacks, a key pass defensed, and a forced fumble in the Broncos’ upset over the Jets. He collapsed the pocket all night and was in the backfield on a consistent basis. The No. 2 overall pick now ranks fifth in the league with 9.5 sacks, well on his way to earning Defensive Rookie of the Year honors.

Dishonors
Rex Ryan – Stop talking and prepare the team.

Chris Johnson – CJ2K’s year continues to go down in history as one of the most disappointing seasons in the NFL ever. Johnson managed just 13 yards on 12 carries. For comparison, he was outgained on the ground my 36 year old Matt Hasselbeck who had 17 yards on a single carry. Whenever Matt Hasselbeck runs for almost 1.5 times as many yards as you, you know you are struggling. Johnson gave his fans some hope against a porous Carolina defense, but it appears as if that may be his lone bright spot this entire season.

Awards
Ciron Black (Best of the Good) – Philadelphia. This was not necessarily the best performance of the week, but given Vick’s injury and the critical nature of their road win in New York, the Eagles get to drink from the good stuff this week.

Aunt Esther (Ugliest of the Ugly) – Buffalo. It was fun while it lasted, and the Dolphins are not as bad as they were a few weeks back. But the Bills failed to show up. The result is their second consecutive date with Aunt Esther. They are becoming an item.

Lone Ranger (Who Was That Masked Man?) – Kevin Smith. The Lions RB had 140 yards in 16 carries with a pair of touchdowns, then contributed a third on a 28 yard reception. All told, he had four catches for 61 more yards.

Amber Alert (Greatest Disappearance) – Rex Ryan. The Jets simply were not ready for the Broncos. They were offensive offensively and let down on defense when it counted most. That’s two consecutive losses that put some distance between the Jets and the AFCE crown and the goal of at least one home playoff game. If he doesn’t right this ship, they may not have to worry about road playoff games.

Each Tuesday, various members of the Helmet2Helmet forum community — known as Team Ugly (including yours truly) — will analyze, criticize, praise, and mock all of the happenings from the prior week of NFL action in their own unique way.

Previously: Week 9 | Week 8 | Week 7 | Week 6 | Week 5 | Week 4 | Week 3| Week 2 | Week 1

Week Ten is now in the books and the die is cast for many teams. A select few are sitting pretty, with their post-season tickets almost booked. A larger group has set themselves up nicely for a run, having put themselves largely in control of their own destiny. Another group has their sights set on the playoffs but needs to step it up a notch to avoid scrambling at the last minute, like a bunch of us men who realize it is December 23 and we still have not done our shopping. Some are longshots: still alive and with some hope but will need to get hot and get some help. Others are dead in the water. A select few are also sinking and one is in the lifeboats.

Such is an NFL season, particularly when it hits its tee shot to start the back nine. Green Bay remains unblemished and Indianapolis winless. The next group that benchmark futility all have two wins. Behind Green Bay in the pursuit of excellence is San Francisco, the league’s only one-loss team.

Week Ten ends with the Raiders, Cowboys, Titans, Texans, Steelers, Saints, Bears, Niners, and Pats all helping their chances. Meanwhile, the Bucs, Falcons, Lions, Ravens and Jets are all left looking in the mirror and wondering what might have been. The Eagles and Chiefs may have bid their playoff chances adieu.

On to Week Eleven. The game of the week, unless you are a fan of the Cowboys or Redskins, is Cincinnati at Baltimore. Otherwise, we see a lot of potential “last gaps.” The Jets visit Denver, kicking off the week Thursday night. It is probably not a must win for New York, but it may be close. Sunday, the Bills visit Miami and can ill afford to lose. Tampa needs to come home from Green Bay with a win. Detroit needs a rebound when it hosts Carolina. The Titans visit Atlanta with both teams needing a win to pump some life into their playoff hopes. San Diego visits Chicago. Both teams could use that one, but San Diego may start saying “good night, Gracie,” with a loss. Philadelphia visits the Giants in another important game for both. But Philly will be all but dead with a loss. Finally, the Chiefs cling to life in their visit to New England.

From there, we move to the food coma that is Thanksgiving.

But before we go, give Week Ten one more look, GBU style.

Good
Chicago Bears – Looks like having a veteran core group of players and stability at the head coach position has its advantages. The Bears look like they are hitting their stride as a team. Last week it was Jay Cutler and the offense slice through Philly like they were cream cheese, and now this week it is the defense and special teams that hang 21 points on a very good Lion’s team that has hit a crossroad in their season. The defense caused six turnovers which will pretty much guarantee a victory in this league and Devin Hester is the best at what he does.

Dallas Cowboys – The Cowboys didn’t do much wrong at home Sunday against Buffalo. Their offense didn’t turn the ball over, did not give up a sack, made several big plays on offense, were two for two in “goal to go” situations, only punted once and were 8 of 12 in third downs. Oh, and the scored 44 points. On defense, they collected a trio of interceptions and a fumble. It would be hard not to call this a Good day.

Green Bay Packers – Not much needs to be said. The Vikings were competitive with Green Bay in their first meeting, but were out of this game early. A minute into the game Randall Cobb returned a punt 80 yards and the hounds were released. The Pack continues to march on.

New England Patriots – Late in the first half, the Pats were in an uncomfortable situation. The Jets just put the ball in the end zone to take a 9-6 lead in a game being played very much to their pace. Then a funny thing happened: Brady led the Pats downfield in the final 1:20 of the half to retake the lead into the locker room. Slowly but surely the Pats put 17 consecutive points on the board by the end of the third quarter. The Jets crawled back to within 23-16 early in the fourth, but the Pats put things away from there, the finishing touch coming on Rob Ninkovich’s 12 yard pick six. When the dust settled, New England outscored their division rival 24-7 in the second half, 31-7 after the Jets established their only lead of the night. The result was a huge divisional win, a sweep of their primary rival and a spot here.

San Francisco 49ers – People were wondering if they could beat a team like the Giants. Well, they have. And they did so while Frank Gore ran for ZERO yards on six carries. Alex Smith, the one time bust turned game manager, moved the ball with his arm and turned in his best game in at least five years, maybe ever. It’s never pretty with these guys and one of these days they will lose the one possession game they always seem to win. But when you go 8-1, you get a place in the Good.

Bad
Kansas City Chiefs – One would have thought that being located in the heart of Big 12 Country, that this organization would know how to defend a wishbone/option/wildcat style offense. Apparently not. Touchdown Baby Jesus and the great game plan of one John Fox ran rough shot over the home team in what was a critical divisional game that I’m sure will have playoff implications a month or two from now. Not too mention, that multi- million dollar QB on the other side was only able to muster 90 yards of passing and 10 points against the 20th ranked pass defense. Bad, bad loss for the Arrow heads.

New York Jets – In a game where many thought the AFC East torch was going to be passed, the Jets refused to cooperate and were once again beaten by rival New England. The game started out promising enough, but turned ugly quickly for New York when they were unable to get any points after Nick Folk missed a FG from point blank range. After this drive, Gang Green’s offense looked flat. The few times they were able to begin a comeback, Tom Brady did what Tom Brady does and put the game out of reach. Although the Jets do not have too difficult of a schedule down the stretch, every game from here on out is important as all of their losses have come to other AFC foes.

Philadelphia Eagles – It is a good thing for the Eagles the competition for the Ugly was so fierce this week. The Eagles arguably lost every facet of their game at home against the Cardinals and it still took some late effort to lose the game. The offense was far from efficient. In fact, of their 17 points, the defense tallied 7. The real problem was the passing game, which was woeful. The Eagles were outgained through the air by Ike Skelton and company by more than 2 to 1. Penalties were again a problem, with Philly being flagged 11 times for almost a C-note worth of yards. Look in the mirror guys, and you will find the enemy.

San Diego Chargers – Although it seems like an eternity ago, San Diego’s loss to Oakland was still in week 10. Going against a team without its best offensive weapon and with a quarterback still learning a new system after coming out of retirement, one would expect the Chargers to pull off a much needed at home. Instead San Diego came out flat on all fronts. San Diego’s usually explosive offensive seemed out of sync. Defensively, San Diego made Denarius Moore and Michael Bush look like Calvin Johnson and Adrian Peterson. All is not lost playing in the AFC West, but San Diego’s window is closing fast.

Ugly
Buffalo Bills – The Bills were flat out terrible. Defensively, they were invisible, offensively, they were anemic. Tony Romo finished with only 3 incompletions (88.5% completion percentage) and DeMarco Murray averaged nearly 7 yards per carry as he picked up 135 yards on the ground. Ryan Fitzpatrick threw three interceptions, including one returned for a touchdown by Terrence Newman, and Fred Jackson lost a fumble for the second consecutive week. If not for David Nelson giving his TD ball to his girlfriend, a Cowboys cheerleader, you might as well assume the Bills had another bye week. The hot start is over and they’re losing ground to New England in the division.

Carolina Panthers – Just a few seconds into the game’s second minute, the Panthers special teams gave up a punt return TD. It was just the beginning. After a red zone turnover on their next drive, the defense chipped in by allowing Tennessee to march 92 yards in six plays, including a run for no gain and an incompletion. The Panthers were barely noticeable during this game except for their gaffes. Nice to see they made good use of their bye week. Chris Johnson did not notice them as he ran for 130 yards. Add in five sacks, 12 penalties for almost 100 yards, and 0 for 3 in the red zone and you have an Ugly performance.

Detroit Lions – To lose to your division rivals with whom you are competing for a playoff spot is one thing, but to lose by 24 points while turning over the ball 6 times (2 for TDs) and allowing a punt return TD is just Ugly. The Lions frustration was also evident as they are slowly but surely building themselves a rep of a being a dirty, chippy team.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Losing to the Texans these days, even at home, is not awful. The Houston bandwagon is starting to make reservations. But the Bucs didn’t even show up. Like Carolina, the onslaught started almost with the opening kickoff. The game’s first play was a Houston Schaub to Jones 80 yard TD. The game was a mere 12 seconds old when that lightning struck. On the bright side, the Bucs blocked the PAT, but that was about their highlight for the day. It was 16-3 by halftime and 30-3 at the end of 3. To punctuate the day, Tampa turned the ball over four times. They were inert on offense and run over on defense. For a team that once had decent playoff aspirations, this was Ugly.

Honors
Mike Bush – Bush and Denarius Moore were a two-man wrecking crew (see the Lone Ranger). Bush pounded the Chargers defense with 157 yards and a touchdown in 30 carries.

Larry Fitzgerald – Fitz hauled in an incredible catch on a third down late in the game, and then scored the game winning TD on a deflected pass. He also found the end zone earlier in the game. John Skelton has utilized the Cards best playmaker in his two starts, unfortunately, we may see Kevin Kolb panicking out of the pocket and ignoring Fitzgerald once again next week.

Arian Foster – Once again, Foster netted over 100 yards from scrimmage (seven straight games) and was able to give two more Namaste bows. He topped 100 receiving yards for the third time this season, picking up the slack for an offense missing its star receiver.

William Gay – For a guy who was the scapegoat amongst his own fans and media the previous week in the game against Baltimore, he redeemed himself quite nicely in a big road division win this week. A perfect example of how quickly things can turn in this week to week league, last week Gay could have easily found himself on the “Dishonors” list with his sub-par play during the Ravens 92 yard game winning TD drive where he was beat over the top. This week with his team holding onto a 7 pt lead in the 4th quarter, Gay forced two turnovers in the Bengals final two drives which preserved the victory for his team.

Rob Gronkowski – This guy continues to be one of the biggest X-factors in the league with the mis-match problems he presents. His 8 for 113 and 2TD performance last night in NY showed the rest of the league that he can’t be covered by most small, speedy CBs.

DeMarco Murray – The Cowboy running back carried the ball 20 times for a mere 135 yards and a TD. His long run was 25 yards. He also caught six passes for 36 more yards.

Tony Romo – This guys is an interesting case. He makes weekly appearances either in the honors or dishonors section. This week was easy: 23 of 26 for 270 yards, 3 TD’s and no interceptions.

Dishonors
Rex Ryan – Coming into 2011, the Jets had two goals: win the division (and by default, leapfrogging the Patriots) to secure at least one home playoff game and advance to the Super Bowl. Neither is dead yet, but they just blew some chunks that will make the first goal extremely difficult.

Mike Smith – Exactly what was he thinking? Did Barry Switzer somehow take over his mind and body for a few minutes? We did not like the 4th and 1 (actually inches) inside their own 30 when Belichick did it against Indianapolis in the fourth quarter. But doing it in OT? The payoff of a first down on your own 30 pales in comparison to the risk….all but ending the game in defeat, if you fail.

Michael Vick – Looked like a rookie out there today. And although I don’t think he was “dogging” it, he did make a Cardinal’s DF that has been lackluster all season look like world beaters for the day.

Gregg Williams – Mike Smith says thanks for nothing. Had you not decided to blitz the Falcons on every play in the final two minutes, exposing your defense’s inability to cover anybody in the middle of the field, the Falcons would probably not have tied the game and allowed White to shoot them in the foot in OT. On the other hand, had you continued the constant blitzing once they got in FG range, they would have won in regulation, again saving him the embarrassment.

Awards
Ciron Black (Best of the Good) – New England. Every year is the year the torch passes from New England to the Jets. Not this year, either. The Pats put together a strong road performance in defense of their AFCE throne. Have some of the good stuff.

Aunt Esther (Ugliest of the Ugly) – Buffalo. Buffal didn’t just lose in Dallas, they didn’t show up. We now know why. The media altered the films to show David Nelson giving the ball to his girlfriend, a Cowboy’s cheerleader, after scoring the Bills’ lone TD. If you take a closer look at the video, you’ll see Kelsi Reich’s image was inserted into the frames. We removed her likeness only to find Aunt Esther.

Lone Ranger (Who Was That Masked Man?) – Denarius Moore. The Raiders WR tortured the Chargers five receptions for 123 yards and a pair of touchdowns. Both scores were timed perfectly to quell potential Charger comebacks, re-extending the Raider lead to 14. Hi-o-silver and black….away!

Amber Alert (Greatest Disappearance) – Matthew Stafford. The good news is Stafford completed 33 passes, one for a TD. The bad news is he threw 63 times and four were intercepted, with two returned for TD’s. Collectively, the Lions were 1 for 6 in the red zone and 4 for 17 on third down. While the magnitude of the Lion’s loss was not all Stafford, he was certainly missing when Detroit had opportunities.

Each Tuesday, various members of the Helmet2Helmet forum community — known as Team Ugly (including yours truly) — will analyze, criticize, praise, and mock all of the happenings from the prior week of NFL action in their own unique way.

Previously: Week 8 | Week 7 | Week 6 | Week 5 | Week 4 | Week 3| Week 2 | Week 1

The league has just tapped in on the ninth hole and is making the turn. It was an important week for many teams. Some were up to the task, some not so much.

In the AFC, the East is now a three-way tossup thanks to the Pats loss and the Jets win at Buffalo. The North is also a three-way test of endurance since the Bengals, yes the Bengals, won their fifth, yes fifth, in a row and Baltimore stole a win in Pittsburgh. Given the general inertia, the North could send three teams to the post season. Slowly but surely, the Texans appear to be the class of the South. The West is the conference’s third three-team race, although race may imply too much forward speed. The Chiefs, Chargers and Raiders all lost and are stuck at .500 at the midway point.

In the NFC, the East is right now in the hands of the Giants thanks to a last-minute win in New England, reminiscent of the Super Bowl match up. Dallas kept pace but is a solid two behind. The North is a bit like the AFC North in that it could provide three teams in the NFC’s six team playoff pool. Green Bay remains the league’s only unbeaten. The Lions were off in Week Nine and the Bears kept pace with an important conference win in Philadelphia. The South could try to wedge a second team into the playoff fray, but is a three-team melee, itself. The Saints topped the Bucs in New Orleans to maintain their slight edge and the Falcons had a bye in Indianapolis. The West has taken 2011 off, save San Francisco.

In summary, that means the Jets, Bengals, Saints, Ravens, and Bears stepped up to their charge in Week Nine while the Bills, Chiefs, Raiders, Pats, Chargers, Steelers and Eagles fell short.

Week Ten starts Thursday night when Chargers host the Raiders in a game that has huge implications for the AFCW. The two teams meet again in Oakland in the season’s last week. For the first time since Week Four, nobody has a bye in Week Ten. Sunday offers a host of important and interesting games.

On the early docket, how about the Steelers in Cincy or Saints at Atlanta? The league’s three arguable doormats, Indy, St. Louis and Miami play Jacksonville, Cleveland and Washington respectively, all with a chance to notch a victory. Denver travels to Kansas City, entering the week only a game off the AFCW pace. Then there are a slew of teams trying to salvage a chance to make a run at the playoffs. Buffalo heads to Dallas in an important game for both teams. Tennessee heads to Carolina, the Bucs host the Texans and the Eagles host the Cardinals.

There are only three late games, but among them are the Lions and Bears in Chicago and the Giants visiting San Francisco. Sunday night the Jets host the Pats.

That only leaves the Packers hosting the Vikings (Monday night) and Ravens visiting Seattle. While not so compelling on the surface, the NFL is always a mix of interesting games that disappoint and weak-looking matchups that surprise.

In preparation, take your dose of this week’s recap of Week Nine, GBU style.

Good
Baltimore – It’s hard to not give the winner of a Ravens – Steelers game a Good. These are always battles and this one went down to the final :08 before it was decided. Both teams made some key defensive plays as the opposing offenses neared scoring territory. For Baltimore’s part, the deciding drive was a 92-yard, 13 play possession that took 2:16, including a fourth down conversion. The contest was not necessarily a thing of beauty as these two slugged it out, but the Ravens are rewarded with an important road win, a sweep of the Steelers, and a share of the AFCN lead (with Cincy).

Chicago – It wasn’t always pretty, but Chicago came through in prime time with a win over the Eagles to keep themselves in the NFC wild card chase on Monday night. The NFC North crown might be out of reach, as the Packers now have a three-game edge over the Bears at the midway point but they kept within one game of Detroit and set up a tense second half in the Midwest this winter. Props to stud back Matt Forte and the underrated Jay Cutler, who keeps managing go have good games despite playing behind a, how shall we say…well-aerated offensive line.

Miami – Sometimes it is viewed as a default mercy vote when a bottom dwelling team finally picks up that elusive first win and at the same time gets the nod here, but the Dolphins earned this one even without such charity. The defense was stifling, generating tons of pressure up front to aid a beleaguered secondary which was shuffling bodies to try and cover for injuries. The offense was effective as well trading in the punts and field goals which had dominated their past 2 months of play, for touchdowns. Miami looks poised to play spoiler for the second half of the season if they can build on the success they found this weekend

New York Giants – Going into New England, all the Giants heard was how the Patriots do not lose at home and how the Pats were going to destroy them. It probably sounded familiar. Instead, the Giants sparked some of their Super Bowl magic and were able to stun the Patriots. Eli Manning quieted the same critics who mocked him when he said he was an elite QB earlier in the season. Big Blue’s front four was able to disrupt Tom Brady in the pocket. The Giants do not have a favorable schedule to end the year but if they play like they did in the second half against the Patriots, they have the ability to win the NFC East.

Bad
Cleveland – The Browns have not gotten a lot of ink (ok, bits) here in the GBU this year. This week, however, they set offense back about 50 years. They finished with only 10 first downs, 172 yards and held the ball less than 25 minutes. That is deceiving. When the white flag was waved, Houston was up 30-6 and had a 347 – 108 yard advantage. As with any Bad, it could have been worse. After the Texans built a 21-3 lead in the second quarter, the Brown defense did not allow them in the end zone again. But with this offense, the game was long over by that point.

Oakland – Add the Raiders to the list of AFCW teams that whiffed Sunday. At home against Denver, the formula would seem to have been simple: force the Broncos to win by means of something called a forward pass. To the surprise of few, the Broncos only gained 113 net yards passing. Exactly as expected, until that nasty little detail about rushing for 299 is factored in. That’s right, the Raider defense surrendered 163 yards on only 20 carries to Willis McGahee and another 118 on 12 Tim Tebow carries. That is approaching nine yards a carry. The Raider offense moved the ball well enough, but Carson Palmer was picked off another three times. Meanwhile the silver and black we whistled for 15 penalties for 130 yards. That’s more than the Broncos passing total or the Raiders rushing total. Special teams contributed by giving up a punt return TD. Of Denver’s five TD’s, their shortest one was their last, a 24-yard McGahee run. If you are going to go down in flames, they may as well be big flames.

Washington – That faint moaning sound you’re hearing? That’s the survivors of the Redskins bandwagon, which was looking a little crowded after a 3-1 start but has since careened off the tracks with four straight losses. Losses to Buffalo and San Francisco might be forgiven but for the sheer offensive ineptitude displayed by Washington. 11 points over two weeks isn’t a good harbinger for the second half, especially considering eight of them came on a garbage time touchdown against the Niners. Things are, for the moment, looking gloomy in the nation’s capital. At least the Capitals are playing well.

Ugly
Buffalo Bills – With a chance to prove that they were for real in the AFC East, the Bills were simply swamped by the Jets. The Bills’ offense was in a word offensive. Ryan Fitzpatrick, who completed over 70% of his passes in each of the three games prior, failed to reach 50% and threw 2 interceptions against the Jets’ secondary. Even Fred Jackson looked a step slow and fumbled for the first time this year. The Jets’ offense imposed its will on Buffalo’s defense, which benefited from two Mark Sanchez blunders. The Bills may have lost the game by only 16 points, but it felt like a whole lot more. Buffalo wanted to prove that it was legitimate threat, but instead rekindled memories of Bills’ teams past on Sunday.

Indianapolis – We could go into great detail about why the Colts deserve to be here this week. We could talk about an anemic offense, porous defense and a myriad of other specifics. But suffice it to say the Colts are Ugly “because they are there.”

Kansas City – After scratching and clawing to shake off an 0-3 start, the Chiefs found themselves entering their eighth contest on a four game winning streak and playing a winless Dolphins team. The Chiefs looked more like the Hekawi of F-Troop fame than fierce warriors. KC jumped out to a 3-0 lead on their first drive, then went to sleep. They were in trouble by halftime and finished about nine minutes into the third quarter. They squandered the opportunities they had and gave up too many big plays to stay in this game, becoming Miami’s first victim, at home no less. The only positive was both the Raiders and Chargers lost, too.

Honors
Willis McGahee – Just 2 weeks out from having surgery McGahee proved why he’s the guy even though Moreno was healthy. 163 yard and 2 touchdowns with Football Jesus taking away carries.

Dishonors
Philip Rivers – Rivers threw six TD passes. Four to his teammates and two to the Packers. That is a no-no against an elite team. Result: despite whatever else he did, the Chargers were on the short end of a 45-38 score.

Kyle Shanahan – This is why nepotism is not a good thing. The coaches son has little to work with, we know. Nobody should be faced with the choice between John Beck and Rex Grossman. And yes, they did show a little life at the end when the game was effectively over. But the Redskins looked like they literally gave up out there on offense for about 55 minutes. You can’t dink and dunk forever. You can’t run a game plan that ensures you’re going to maybe not lose by 30 but definitely not sniff a win.

Officiating Consistency – Every year we see calls that are made by some crews, not by others and both made and not made within the same crew. Complete or incomplete. Illegal or legal hit. Pass interference or not? Offensive pass interference or not? Roughing the QB or a good hit? To be fair, the implication of this title is the problem is the guys in stripes. Some decent percentage of the time it is either rules that are so poorly written or that create such a fine line it is impossible, even with instant replay, to make a definitive determination. That leads to inconsistency, which drives coaches, players, fans and Team Ugly crazy. The league would do itself a favor and simplify these areas so that it doesn’t take them until Tuesday to determine what really happened on a given play, even if they can determine it then.

Awards
Ciron Black (Best of the Good) – Miami waited long enough to get the first win but at least they pulled it off with style. It is easy to diminish the accomplishment given the up and down nature of the Chiefs season but Miami attacked the strengths of Kansas City directly and also addressed what have been some of the greatest flaws of their own 2011 campaign to date. Their fans got a frustrating glimpse of a team that looks able to compete in the NFL afterall, but which has dug too great of a hole to get out of this year. For this week at least though, a toast boys, welcome to the W column.

Aunt Esther (Ugliest of the Ugly) - Well, it looks like the wildebeest we call Aunt Esther has a soft spot for the Chiefs. They had a two-week fling at the beginning of the campaign, before KC decided that it wasn’t her, it was them and reeled off a respectable loss followed by four straight wins. But around 1:00 on Sunday they decided that she was the one for them, and by a little after 4:00 they were cuddling up together as the formerly winless Dolphins were strolling off the field with a 4-touchdown win. No bueno.

Lone Ranger (Who Was That Masked Man?) – Patrick Peterson. He was one muffed punt away from going home with Aunt Esther. But he caught it clean and kicked mud in the Rams faces for a game winning 99 yard return in overtime. That makes 3 punt returns for touchdowns this year and a pretty strong case for rookie of the year, even if it is probably going to be renamed the Cam Newton One Hundred Large Award.

Amber Alert (Greatest Disappearance)- As Ryan Fitzpatrick continues to vie for an improbable chair among the league’s elite QBs he has started to emulate the styles of the top passers. At times we’ve seen the raw power of Brees, the gritty dogfight closing ability of Roethlisberger and the quiet methodical production of Schaub, and now, his first misstep of 2011…apparently it was time to mimic Tony Romo and no one told Ryan he should go for the “loitering with supermodels” angle instead of the “disappearing at the worst possible time” gambit. The jets secondary has been daunting but at times vincible this year..so it was fair to expect at least some success for the Bills here. What makes the vanishing of Fitzpatrick all the more alarming for Bills fans is that a considerable amount of the Jets defensive attention had to be diverted to stopping Fred Jackson. Now they are left hoping they can find their leader and get back on track rather than dwelling on the grim possibility that the Jets just exposed them for the rest of the league.

Previously: Week 7 | Week 6 | Week 5 | Week 4 | Week 3| Week 2 | Week 1

Week 8 is now in the books. For some teams, it is the midway point. For some, they wish the season was completely over. Others look forward to the final nine weeks with a gleam in their eye.

We are now down to three teams chasing perfection. Green Bay had

a bye this week and still sits at a perfect 7-0. Miami and Indianapolis both lie at opposite end, the Colts at 0-8 and the Dolphins at 0-7. The competition at both ends of the spectrum is fierce, though.

This past weekend saw St. Louis get its first win. Miami just missed (again) on the road against the Giants. The Cardinals charged out toward their second win of the season only to recede back to singular win status. The Vikings also recorded win #2. The significance of all this is who is in the running for the #1 pick.

On the upside of the ledger, the 49ers find themselves still with only one loss, the only team that can make that claim. The Steelers, Ravens, Giants, Bills, Lions and Bengals all preserved their two-loss credentials, while the Pats slipped into that category.

Oh, and Tebowing became popular, although often not in the manner he might have preferred.

A quick look at divisional races tells us that the AFCE, AFCN, AFCW, NFCS and possibly the NFCN are three-team fights. The AFCS is a two-team race. The NFCW is a runaway and we don’t quite know what to make of the NFCE. It looks like two teams are trending up and two down, but that can change quickly.

As for Week 9, look to the Bucs at New Orleans and Jets at Bills to be the big early games. The late games feature the Bengals at the Titans, Giants at Pats, and the Pack at San Diego to be the pacesetters. The Sunday night game gives us the war between the Ravens and Steelers in Pittsburgh. Monday has the Eagles hosting the Bears.

Until then, enjoy our recap of Week 8.

Good
Detroit Lions – The Lions were hearing the skeptics say they were returning to mediocrity (or worse) after their 5-0 start. On the heels of two consecutive losses, they traveled to Denver and blasted the Broncos. Their tally of 45 points was basically posted in three quarters of play. Stafford had a trey of TD passes, one to Calvin Johnson for 56 yards. Johnson had six catches for 125 yards. The offense did not even try to turn the ball over. On defense, they limited Denver to 183 yards and 3 points until Chris Houston took a Tebow pass 100 yards the other way. Sure, it was against a team hell-bent on Ugly, but the Lions did what a good team must when they have gone cold: go on the road and take care of business.

Philadelphia Eagles - After six uninspiring games, the Philadelphia Eagles came out of their bye week looking like the super team they were once billed as. Firing on all cylinders, they were able to take Dallas out of the game early. Mike Vick had his best game of the season while LeSean McCoy ran all over Dallas’ number 1 ranked rush defense. Because of their early game success, the Eagles forced the Cowboys to abandon their ground game that was so successful last week. Meanwhile, the Eagles’ cornerbacks did their job to near perfection and kept Tony Romo in check. Philadelphia is usually good coming out of the bye, whether this game was a sign of things to come or if this game was an anomaly remains to be seen.

Pittsburgh Steelers - Steeler fans all probably recognize that next week’s match up against Baltimore will have more of an impact on playoff seeding that this week’s win over the Patriots. However, to exorcise the demon that is Tom Brady has to make the Yinzer smile like a virgin in a whore house on dollar night this morning. The Steelers shut down New England’s high power offense better than any team this season and they did it with both their offense and defense. On offense Ben Roethlisberger used a ball control passing game, which had to look oddly familiar to the opposing QB, which ate up almost 40 minutes of clock and 430 yards. The only thing the Steeler’s offense fell a little short on was their red zone conversion, having to settle for four FG attempts and two TDs. The Black and Gold also defense did their part, going away from their zone blitzing scheme and adopting a man to man press coverage which knocked the Pats passing game off rhythm. Mike Tomlin deserves a ton of credit for going away from their trends to attack the Pats. It is something that Belichick did for years against the Bill Cowher led Steelers.

St. Louis Rams – Whenever a team gets its first win in Week 8, it almost automatically warrants notice here. When that win comes by smothering a team who many believe has a legitimate shot at a playoff run, it gets a Good. The Rams did just that on Sunday at home against the Saints. Steven Jackson ran wild, to the tune of 159 yards and a pair of TD’s. The defense contained the normally potent Saints offense to under 300 yards and sealed the deal when Darian Stewart intercepted Brees and returned it 27 yards to extend the Rams lead to 17 points with less than 3:00 remaining. This was perhaps the first time this season the Rams defense justified the high opinion that most had of them entering 2011. It is almost certainly too little, too late for the Rams, but getting their first win, at home, in front of a crowd that was fresh off a World Series win, against a solid opponent, by shutting down their strongest asset (the offense) is worthy of a Good.

Bad
New England Patriots - All week, all we heard was “Tom Brady owns the Steelers.” Apparently Brady and company thought their legend would carry them in this game. Although they had two weeks to prepare, they neglected to do so. As for the defense, did they make an important stop all day? It’s doubtful, but regardless it is pretty evident Belichick’s defensive genius is in the past, I have seen matadors that do a better job of stopping bulls than that defense did against Ben and Company.

San Diego Chargers – Let’s not take a lot away from the Chiefs. They started 0-3 and have now tied the Raiders and Chargers for the division lead at 4-3. However, this game was sitting there for the Chargers to win. Rivers was picked off twice. The Chargers committed 12 penalties for 105 yards, one negating a TD. On that same drive they followed up with a second major penalty, pushing them into a long FG attempt which went awry. They fumbled twice inside the Chief 25, killing scoring chances. The second of which was with about a minute to go while they were trying to position the ball for a shot at the winning FG. It is not like the Chiefs put together a spotless effort themselves (four turnovers of their own). But the Chargers shot themselves in the feet (plural) enough to overcome whatever else they did along the way to miss a golden opportunity to deal a divisional rival a shot to the chops. Too often, these types of missed opportunities loom large in December.

Ugly
Dallas Cowboys - Where do we begin? On defense, the Cowboys were gored by the Eagles, giving up almost 495 yards, 34 points, 31 first downs, 239 yards rushing, collected no turnovers and failed in any way to be anything more than a very minor impediment. Take away Demarcus Ware and they were not even that good. Ware had four sacks and ten tackles all by himself. Then move to the offense, who held the ball for less than 18 minutes, rolled to 267 yards and were generally impotent until the game was 34-0 in the fourth quarter. Until that point, they ventured into Eagle territory only once. 154 of their 267 yards came after the horse was put down. 70 of those 154 yards came on their lone TD. The Cowboys were beyond Ugly, they were inert.

Denver Broncos – Any discussion of NFL Ugliness must include the Broncos. They are a mess at this point. Consider this: Sunday, at home against the Lions they almost jumped out to a 7-0 lead, did take a 3-0 lead and then gave up the next 45 points. The game was over by halftime. The offensive line does not pass block, their choices at QB are a guy who defines mediocrity and a guy who will struggle to achieve it. Tebow directly accounted for 14 Lions points, 7 on an interception and 7 on a fumble. Neither QB will even reach mediocrity behind this offensive line. Sunday’s tally was seven sacks. Even if the line protected them, the receiver corps is questionable. Then there is the coach. Is it any wonder the Lions feasted in the Mile High City Sunday? While the Broncos are not the worst team in the NFL, they are on the list of teams that can be considered tonics for what ails opposing teams.

New Orleans Saints - Really? they followed up the 62 point showing with that pathetic effort vs AJ Feeley and company? Is is there any doubt the Saints overlooked this game on their schedule? Not much more to say than that.

Washington Redskins - After an impressive 3-1 start to the season, Washington is starting to look like the team most people thought they would be at the start of the year. The Redskins looked abysmal in Toronto playing against the Bills. Washington had no sign of a rushing game and John Beck threw two interceptions. Buffalo came into the game with four sacks on the year, but was able to get nine on a porous Redskin offensive line. Washington’s defense struggled against Ryan Fitzpatrick and Fred Jackson. At the moment, Washington finds itself in the basement of the NFC East and is well on the way to a top 10 pick.

Honors
Ben Roethlisberger - In the past, he has had statistically good games against New England. What made Sunday’s performance his best was that he out performed the Hall of Famer across the field. Roethlisberger is having one of his best seasons as a pro and how he is doing it should shut up all of his critics. He has always buttered his bread by using his physical attributes to make athletic plays outside the pocket when the play breaks down. This week he showed the mental progression of his game by picking apart the 32nd ranked pass defense with his pre-snap reads and his quick release with in the pocket. There should no longer be any doubt that this guy is an elite QB.

Ike Taylor - The guy is having a pro-bowl season. Unlike some of the other top CBs, Taylor is given the assignment every week to match up against the other teams top WR and follow him wherever he should go. This week he held the league’s leading receiver to 6 catches for 39 yards and 0 TDs. Welker came into this game averaging almost 9 rec for 130 yards and a TD. Kudos to Ike.

DeMarcus Ware – Cowboys fans are singing a variation of the old Hee-Haw song, “Gloom, despair, and agony on me. Deep, dark depression, excessive misery. If it weren’t for Demarcus Ware, we’d have no defense at all. Gloom, despair and agony on me.” Ware accounted for 10 tackles, 4 sacks, an assist and a forced fumble. The Cowboys defense had only 4 sacks, one forced fumble, and seemingly 11 tackles.

Ray Rice, LeSean McCoy, Adrian Peterson & Steven Jackson - These four could each get their own write up for the key roles they played in their teams’ wins. The four combined for 493 rushing yards, 18 receptions for 159 receiving yards, and 9 TDs. Great players do great things and these four did great things when their teams’ needed them the most.

Dishonors
Chris Johnson - For most of the first half of the season, the question on the minds of many was when is Chris Johnson going to get back on track. After this week’s putrid performance, you have to start wondering if the answer is not this year. Johnson ran for just 34 yards on 14 carries (2.4 YPC) on a defense that allows almost 150 yards per game on the ground. The former 2,000 yard runner is on pace to rush for just 690 yards. As long as Johnson continues to under-perform, people will continue to question whether or not his love for the game was all about the money.

Philip Rivers - Simply put, Philip Rivers had a day to forget. Late in San Diego’s loss to the Chiefs, Rivers could be seen on the sideline saying “This is the worst day ever” and for good reason. In a game full of ugly, the San Diego QB was no exception. Rivers threw 2 interceptions and no touchdowns, but that would have been forgivable had he not fumbled the ball on the KC 15 yard line. Had Rivers been able to handle the snap, San Diego would have basically been guaranteed a victory and would be looking pretty atop the AFC West. Instead they are tied with Oakland and Kansas City at 4-3. Unless Rivers is able to turn around his awful season, San Diego chances at the playoffs are no bueno. It looks as if Rivers has caught a case of Romo-itis this season.

Awards
Ciron Black (Best of the Good) - For a good portion of the season to date Pittsburgh and Philadelphia had been paying homage to their home state this year by slugging down Keystone, but this week they both did well enough to break into the good stuff together. Pittsburgh got a huge monkey off their collective back by beating a Patriot team which pretty much had their number for the last half decade. Roethlisberger did an impressive job finding replacement targets for an injured Hines Ward.
meanwhile over by the coast the Eagles finally decided enough was enough with the “Dream Team” backlash and poured a season’s worth of angst right down the throats of a division rival and made the NFCE race a lot more interesting for the second half of the season

Aunt Esther (Ugliest of the Ugly) – New Orleans didn’t know quite when to quit, draining the bottle dry after last week’s emphatic Ciron Black win, and apparently, sneaking out to the liquor store and picking up another. When they rolled over Monday morning with just a mild headache (even the hangovers are better with Ciron) they were horrified to find Esther’s bedroom eyes greeting them, and acting as the tell-tale that they’d just completed the rare run from top to bottom in a one week span. We don’t expect the Saints to lie low for long, but in exactly the opposite manner of the Eagles they’ve made their division race a lot tighter looking and the upcoming game at Tampa just got a lot more interesting.

Lone Ranger (Who Was That Masked Man?) – Steven Jackson. Jackson pretty much defined the Lone Ranger on Sunday in every way. Feeley threw a clean game but didn’t have many attempts so Jackson for all intents and purposes was the Rams offense and he came through just in time with 6 yards per carry on 25 touches and his first 100 yard game in 3 seasons

Amber Alert (Greatest Disappearance) – Rob Ryan. If there was ever a reason to keep your mouth shut and do your job, Rob should have learned it Sunday night. The Cowboy defense is too good to lay eggs like they did in Philly Sunday night. If this keeps up, Ryan is liable to find himself missing in Dallas, but nobody will be looking for him.

Each Tuesday, various members of the Helmet2Helmet forum community — known as Team Ugly (including yours truly) — will analyze, criticize, praise, and mock all of the happenings from the prior week of NFL action in their own unique way.

Previously: Week 6 | Week 5 | Week 4 | Week 3| Week 2 | Week 1

Week Seven brought us an inordinate amount of first-class, eye-burning Ugly. In fact, it was so Ugly that two entire games a listed in our Ugly section. It was bad enough that a couple of winners should have been listed except the competition was fierce and just a bit out of their grasp. The Ugly includes both the prime-time games. Lucky for the NFL that the World Series is in swing or more people might have seen it.

Alas, that happens sometimes. By week seven you have the usual suspects who are capable at putting a particularly painful display on the field at any given time. They did this week, one to epic proportions. But the epidemic also caused a couple of unexpected victims to spend some time over the porcelain god.

Consider these scores and their implications: 62-7. 6-3. 12-7 (with the 12 being four FGs), 34-7, 41-7 (from two teams that should have been competitive with the road team winning). Even games that had competitive endings took dreadful paths to get there. We won’t even delve into the statistics that make up those scores. Week Seven could have easily produced four Aunt Esthers.

Oh well, we all survived. And with that behind us (we hope) we focus on Week Eight. For some, it is the midway point in their season. The marquis games are New England at Pittsburgh, Dallas at Philadelphia and San Diego at Kansas City. There are a few others that could prove interesting. And still others that potentially could do Ugly proud.

Enjoy.

Good
Green Bay Packers - It wasn’t a dominating performance at all. And the defense did give up 175 yards rushing to Adrian Peterson. But the 7-0 Packers took the Vikings’ best shot on the road and came away with a victory. Oh and, ho-hum, Rodgers was his usual amazing self with a line of 24/30 335 yards, 3 TDs and a 146.5 passer rating. What, he couldn’t make that rating a perfect 158.3? Such a slacker.

Houston Texans - The Texans were in a precarious position heading into week 7. Having dropped 2 straight games and missing the services of injured stars Andre Johnson and Mario Williams, they were travelling to Tennessee to face the Titans in a game for direct control of the AFCS division lead. The setting seemed perfect for them to drop another game and enter a full blown slump. Instead they exited Nashville with a convincing win and riding the catbird seat in the AFCS race. Schaub continues to be quietly effective in finding alternate targets to Johnson, including his two tight ends and Arian Foster who became the first player in Texans history to get 100 yards receiving and rushing on the same day. The defense was stifling as well. Aside from the highlight reel gold nugget of a late pick six, they pretty well contained a heretofore revitalized Matt Hasselbeck, and totally shut down the Titans running game, allowing Tennessee backs a combined 51 yards on 15 carries (and 25 of those yards came on one play). After a convincing win over the only other team in the division with a pulse, and with two games vs sub 0.500 teams upcoming, the first playoff appearance in franchise history seems to be theirs to lose.

New Orleans Saints - Most were dreading this week’s Sunday Night Football matchup for one reason: They knew the Saints would take care of the hapless Colts – and handily. However, we’re not sure whether people expected a record-setting, 62-point outburst by Drew Brees and Co. Brees threw more TD’s (5) than incompletions (4) as New Orleans scored on 9 of its first 10 possessions and scored the fourth-most points in a game in league history. To say the Saints were dominant in their effort over Indy — who looks like they’ve mailed it in for the season — would be a severe understatement.

New York Jets - With their season virtually on the line at 3-3, the Jets desperately needed a win over a quality opponent and got just that, battling back from an 11-point deficit to top the Chargers. Although New York started the game off shaky – as always, it seems – they completely blanked Philip Rivers and the Bolts’ offense in the second half. Even the much-maligned Jets offense, including Plaxico Burress, showed up in a major way, scoring three touchdowns and dominating the trenches all day against a solid Chargers defense. Darrelle Revis, well on his way to Defensive Player of the Year honors, made another big interception, much to the chagrin of WFAN’s Mike Francesa.

Tony’s Son’s Football Team - With the amount of Ugly we saw this week, we have to dig deep for Good. The last we heard, they were 4-0 and dominating their league. However, their first four games were against teams that have combined for two wins and a point differential of somewhere over -100. However, their last three games were versus teams with two losses combined and were allowing less than a touchdown a game. Despite that, our little heroes posted winning scores in those three games of 15-0, 14-0 and 20-0. They allowed three first downs over the three games and never let any of the teams past the 35. They gave up a total of 57 yards combined while averaging over 325 yards per game of offense. They’ve held the clock an average of 32 minutes out of each 40 minute game. These boys come to practice ready to work and hit the field with determination. They hit like they’re a mack truck and other teams complain that they are hitting too hard (it’s just fundamentals.) They beat the other undefeated team by 15. That opponent averages over 180 lbs on both offensive and defensive lines while these boys average 130 and their biggest would still be the opponent’s smallest on the line. They have clinched a berth in the league championship bowl game and are still waiting to find out who the opponent will be. They have been invited to a state championship tournament in November from the director of the team that is in second place (instead of his own team.) These boys have kept Tony smiling and I can never wait to get to the football field and watch them do their stuff. Rumor has it they have been installed as 5-1/2 point favorites over the visiting Rams. If they were old enough, we’d give them the Ciron Black!

Bad
Arizona Cardinals - Most assumed when the Cardinals acquired Kevin Kolb that their offense would finally return back to an elite level. Suffice it to say that hasn’t happened. Coming off a bye, at home, against the Steelers – the team they inherited a chunk of their staff and personnel from – this was a perfect opportunity for the Cards to end a four-game losing streak with a big win over an elite opponent. But the offense sputtered and the defense let Ben Roethlisberger and the Steelers’ offense march up and down the field against them as they dropped their fifth straight game. Coach Ken Whisenhunt suggested that major changes could be in order going forward; that’s going to be a necessity if he doesn’t want to end up drafting in the top 10 next year.

Detroit Lions - Where has the suddenly potent Lions offense been the last two weeks? Granted, they’ve played tough defenses in the 49ers and Falcons, but Detroit has too much talent on offense to score just one touchdown in their Week 7 contest – at home, no less. Matt Stafford was on the run for most of the game as Falcons defenders were hot on his trail and his lone big play – a long TD to Calvin Johnson – wasn’t enough as they dropped their second straight game. To make matters worse, Stafford was hurt on the team’s final offensive play and noticeably limped over to the sideline. Coach Jim Schwartz insists his franchise QB will be day-to-day but now they need a win in Week 8 or else some may start to label them as nothing more than pretenders.

St. Louis Rams - For a team that was the favorite in the all be it weak NFC west, this team has been HOR-A-BULL! Tony Dorsett? Emmitt Smith? NO, damnit! NO! the Rams DF gave the honor of the Cowboys all time single game rusher award to Demarco Murray in his first start as an NFL RB. Where is that defensive guru that we watched on the sidelines a few years back when he was with the Giants? The Rams failed in all three phases of the game to the point that Jerry Jones couldn’t wipe off that artificially enhanced grin off his face,….even if he could. The Rams as bad as they’ve been are in contention for the Andrew Luck lottery.

Ugly
Baltimore Ravens – Bipolar does not adequately describe this team. Remember a week ago when Baltimore was one of the teams to beat in the AFC? If Flacco and the gang keep laying nationally televised turds like they did on Monday against a terrible Jaguars team, we won’t be thinking that much longer. They did not even post a first down until almost ten minutes were gone in the third quarter. That is nearly the first forty, four-zero, minutes or two-thirds of the game. They finished with 11 first downs (two by penalty). Nine offensive first downs and 146 total yards won’t get it done against Rutgers, much less an actual NFL team…even the Dolphins. When they did get moving, somehow only down 9-0, they edged into FG range before losing six yards over their next three ineffective plays and missed the 52-yarder. This was a team that was ineffective on offense in every way, as demonstrated by nine punts, two turnovers and the missed FG in 13 possessions. This was a stinker.

Indianapolis Colts - What can you say about an NFL team that loses 62-7? How about the fact that they are the first team in almost 12 years to give up that many points, and only the seventh team since the AFL-NFL merger to see more than 60 put on the board against them. It is not exactly elite company. This week’s beneficiary of the complete ineptitude was the New Orleans Saints. No wonder it was 34-7 by halftime. When the debris was swept away, the Colts were outgained 557-252. The Saints had almost as many rushing yards (236) as the Colts had yards. The Saints. Those Saints. First downs? 36-11. The Saints gained nearly 7.5 yards every time they snapped the ball. The Saints converted 75% of their third down attempts. The Colts did manage a few big runs, but that is the equivalent of a passenger on board the Titanic commenting on how nice and calm the ocean is as the water is up to their knees. This was an Ugly performance in every way possible. The expectations are higher than this even for a winless team.

Miami Dolphins – Halfway through the 4th quarter Miami was completely spoiling Tim Tebow’s debut by pitching a shutout and the Dolphins appeared to be on their way to their first “Good” entry here in quite some time. Owner Stephen Ross even left his luxury box in anticipation of congratulating the team for getting off the schneid as they exited the field. Instead he, and we watched in shock as Miami deftly downshifted to neutral, bad, and finally downright Ugly. Phinfans didn’t grumble much when the defense entered prevent mode. with five minutes and change left in the game The Dolphins had been handling the run well and Tebow’s passing attack was non-existent to that point. (he had only 4 completions) but he led a highly efficient drive to get Denver on the board and then did it again immediately after Denver recovered the ensuing onside kick. A two point conversion sent the game to OT and with all the momentum suddenly favoring Denver the end result seemed almost inevitable. After a few stalled drives for both teams, Miami QB Matt Moore committed the team’s only turnover of the day at the worst possible time, handing Denver the ball already in range for the game winning kick, and diverting Ross’s beeline for the locker room over to the sideline where Urban Meyer was standing. Was this an informal interview for a future head coaching candidate? We would not be shocked as this game had to be just about the death knell for Sparano.

Oakland Raiders – Despite the high price paid to acquire Carson Palmer, no one expected much from him on such short notice. Coach Hue Jackson even admitted in postgame interviews that they knew all week Palmer would not be ready yet and that the hints earlier in the week that Palmer may start were a ruse to try and confuse the Chiefs. What Oakland also did not expect was achieving the bizarre and unwanted NFL first of having two of their QBs toss 3 interceptions, in the same game. Boller was completely ineffective in the fist half so Palmer replaced him in the second half under some good old “why the hell not?” style desperation. Unfortunately for the Raiders, all Palmer could do was confirm Jackson’s suspicions that he was not ready yet. With 6 turnovers plus a goal line stand by KC after one of the few sustained drives by Oakland, the Raiders left a lot of potential on the field. It wouldn’t have taken much for Oakland to get into this game. Two of the Chiefs scores were defensive with both Oakland QBs having an interception returned for a touchdown, and while we wouldn’t call Kansas City’s offense flaccid (the Saints might though) they didn’t exactly build an insurmountable lead if you subtract the assists they got. The Chiefs even played Raider football with ten penalties for 98 yards. But the Raiders felt they had to be ahead in a few statistical categories and put up fourteen penalties for 120 yards. Most all of the Raiders penalties came at the worst possible time when it kept a Chiefs drive going or killed field position. In the end Oakland squandered an opportunity to move into the division lead and tread water while they broke in their new QB. Now they just have to hope they can emerge from a very timely bye with their house more in order.

Tennessee Titans - At home against the only other legitimate contender in the AFCS and the surprising Titans laid an egg. They didn’t just lose, they were done by halftime. Overall, they were outscored by 34 points, outgained by 370 yards, outrushed by 169, outpassed by 201, out possessed by almost 16 minutes, ran 22 fewer plays, and earned 18 fewer first downs. The Titans managed to drive inside the Houston 45 just once and scored their lone TD. Sometimes the numbers don’t tell the story. Unfortunately for Tennessee, the numbers do tell the story in this game, and it is an Ugly story indeed.

Cleveland Browns vs. Seattle Seahawks – I don’t know how else to put it, but this game had to be a ratings nightmare for the league. It was the only early game avaialbe in Western PA, and it rendered me to the point where I had to choose to either A.) watch the 4th quarter of the game, B.) Cut the grass or C.) rake the leaves. Needless to say my lawn looks great this morning. The game was a comedy of errors. Clipboard Jesus confirmed that he isn’t anything more than, well, a clipboard holder by displaying some of the worst pocket awareness I’ve witnessed this season. And the Browns Offense looked like a white guy dance off (ABSOLUTELY NO RHYTHM). I guess you can try to spin it and say the defenses played well, but watching the first three quarters, I have to say that the UGLINESS on offense more than overshadowed anything positive either team did on DF.

On the subject of games, Baltimore Ravens vs. Jacksonville Jaguars – We hear the British broadcast of a cricket match had more viewership in the US than this game after the first hour, and for good reason.

Honors
Arian Foster - This guy is showing that last season was no fluke and when he is healthy he is a monster. This week he more than made up for the loss of Andre Johnson and was the team’s #1 rushing and #1 receiving threat. Since he’s been healthy, he has dominated every defense he has faced, EXCEPT the Ravens who are probably the best in the league.

DeMarco Murray - What a way to make an impression on both the coaching staff and Cowboys’ faithful in the stands. The rookie quickly made them forget about the injured Felix Jones as soon as he exploded for a 91-yard TD on his first carry of the game. His 253 yards set a new team record, surpassing Emmit Smith’s previous best. He has a chance for a repeat performance in Week 8 against the slumping Eagles’ run defense.

Jaguars Defense - Granted the Ravens looked terrible out there. But the Jags deserve a lot of the credit for that. Nobody but nobody outside of the Jacksonville area metroplex thought they had a chance to win this game, even at home. And the defense confounded a team that was scoring almost 30 points a game and gave their anemic offense a chance to score just enough for the victory.

Josh Scobee – Going four for four with three kicks of 50-plus yards and being your team’s entire offense on national TV means you get a seat with the regulars on the team plane and a shot of the finest.

Dishonors
Carson Palmer - After trading 2 high draft picks for Carson Palmer, the Raiders had hoped they had found their QB with Jason Campbell out. Although he had a short week of practice, Palmer looked like the QB of last year who threw 20 interceptions. Palmer threw three picks in a single half, a feat that Raiders’ fans had not seen since the first half where Kyle Boller did the same thing. With a bye week to learn the system, Palmer needs to hit the books and get on the same page as his WRs. Otherwise the Raiders’ hot start will have gone to waste.

Philip Rivers - Maybe I’m just bitter because I drafted this guy as my Fantasy QB, but you can forget about all the pre-season MVP talk surrounding this guy’s name. Philip has been average at best this season and you can point to his terrible interceptions against the Jets and the Pats as the biggest reason why the Chargers lost those two games. With an upgraded defense and running game, the Chargers could easily have been looking at 6-0 right now if not for Rivers sub-par play.

Raiders coaching staff - We understand they lost their leader/mentor/antagonist in Al Davis, but the decisions made both on and off the field were astounding. Attempting a flea flicker once when the game is close… That’s fine. Trying it again in the 2nd quarter is bordering on Todd Haley-esque decision making. The third time when the Chiefs had seen that play more than anything from the shotgun? That’s just plain stupid.

Awards
Ciron Black (Best of the Good) – The Houston Texans distinguished themselves in an important way in this game. Up to now they’d been viewed by many as a sort of default frontrunner in the division simply because there was no one else and they really hadn’t beaten anyone of note (put down that weapon Steeler fans, even you have to admit they weren’t at their best during that stretch) Well the Titans emerged as a legitimate threat to that free division crown and the Texans went to their house and put them down so convincingly that they appear to be a legitimate playoff contender not just a default #4 seed from a weak division. Enjoy some of the good stuff Houston (and if you want to “act like you’ve been there before” you should sip not guzzle. There is still a lot of football to be played.)

Aunt Esther (Ugliest of the Ugly) – If you ever see Esther walk past teams like shutout victim Oakland and their sea of interceptions or Miami and their record setting 4th quarter meltdown, without even giving them so much as a second glance, you know there is some world class ugliness in the room and that is certainly true here. Even though they had yet to win a game Indianapolis had been flirting with respectability out of the ashes of a nightmare opening to this season by looking at least competitive. That all went south in a hurry here, and when we say south we mean Antarctica. On the surface it was complete domination but in the interest of equal coverage and not wanting to appear like we were playing favorites we tried to find any significant statistical category where the Colts came out better and came up with a pretty big one…red zone efficiency. The Colts 100% conversion rate in the redzone (1 for 1) towered over the Saints with their measly 87% success rate (7 for 8).

Lone Ranger (Who Was That Masked Man?) – Plaxico Burress gave us the surreal headlines that sound more like a script for a bad movie than anything that could have actually happened. Either from moralistic distaste for someone who has a troubled past capped off (sorry, couldn’t resist) with a prison stint, or the more pragmatic skepticism of an aging star’s ability to contribute after so much time away from the game, many questioned what he could hope to accomplish this year or if he should return at all. Despite some highlight reel worthy catches in preseason, he’d had a pretty quiet year to match those low expectations. In fact he only had 4 catches on the day vs the Chargers. but where 3 of those were for touchdowns his impact was definitely felt in a big way again.

Amber Alert (Greatest Disappearance) – Philip Rivers pulled the “best” Houdini this week. It had to be particularly painful and frustrating for Charger fans who were already searching for him after a lackluster season in general thus far, because they caught a glimpse of their missing team leader in the first half as he was reunited with Antonio Gates as the TE emerged from triage and all seemed right with their world. But then Rivers inexplicably vanished again, just when they needed him most to keep pace with the suddenly awakened Jets offense